A Bitter Pill (version 2) by Gregg Sharp ------------------------- setting and major char by Rumiko Takahashi add'l char & situations by Gregg Sharp webpage: http://members.aol.com/MetroAnime/main.html another "Akane Gets Ranma" fic, or should that be reversed? a slightly different second version is planned. i generally don't write this pairing, after all, everyone else does, and i've already done this pairing three times.(1) but for all the Akane fans, this one's for you. ------------------------- His name was Juan Valdez, and he had a burro. It wasn't a bad life, considering that he had started out life as an advertising icon, a fictional character up until the amazons of House Southern Cross (c.2597) being a genetically engineered subspecies, followed the pattern set by House Rising Sun by basing their new cultural identity on ancient holovids and scraps of ancient history. In their case, the "Empire of Khalifornia." (2) Even then, had they not gone to a land of raw magic where belief could become reality, he would have remained a fictional character. Being the god of coffee had its perks, to be sure. One might not get invited to all the good parties like the god of beer, but as the morning beverage of choice for no less than the Shadarian Empire (and select other locations), you could find his shrine (coffeepot or urn) in quite a few locations. This, of course, is why Toltiir didn't make any sarcastic quips or comments to someone whose power rating was considerably below some Nerima martial artists... "Tiny change," Juan pointed. "There." "The love pill incident? Hmm. You're not modifying the behavior of one of the prime suspects..." "Not directly," Juan smiled. "Though if she pull this off, I smile on little girl. She never have grounds in her coffee." Toltiir rolled his eyes. Well, what kind of blessing could you expect from an angel/kami/god of coffee? ------------------------------------------- Kasumi frowned slightly. If they weren't careful, Akane would see her own father, or Mister Saotome, and then there'd be some MAJOR problems. "You two, stop it this instant!" Everyone stopped and stared at Kasumi, she sounded...irritated. "Father, Mister Saotome, leave now. Ranma, make sure Happosai doesn't come near us." "Now THAT sounds like a good idea," Ranma grinned and punted the older man into orbit while he was still staring at Kasumi. Kasumi sighed. "Now, Cologne is the only one who really knows about this. I suggest we talk to her about it, maybe there's a cure." Ranma leaned next to Akane. "Kasumi's taking charge?" Akane, blindfold once more in place, whispered back. "I think we need to keep her away from that 'espresso' stuff from now on." --------------------------- "It's only the Day pill," Ranma said. "All right." "Ranma, since it is for only one day, why don't you let Akane look at you. That way she's not in any danger." "Oh...HEY!" "Ranma," Kasumi whispered. "Akane protected you, thinking it was the Permanent pill. Are you going to leave the debt unpaid?" Ranma winced and turned to Akane. "Uhm, Akane? Just so that old lech doesn't do something funny with you...I mean, it's only for one day so I... well...if you look at me, I promise not to insult you until it's over." Kasumi shook her head. This was his idea of a personal sacrifice? "Really, Ranma?" Akane was getting pretty sick of the blindfold, and for a moment, Ranma sounded...vulnerable. Ranma glanced back at Kasumi and sighed. "Yeah, really." Akane removed the blindfold as soon as she felt Ranma touch her chin, guiding her face to the correct location. Kasumi smiled as she watched Akane looking at Ranma. "Now, remember your promise, Ranma." "Uhm, yeah." Ranma tugged on his pigtail, nervously. THAT look in Akane's eyes. Gee, she was kinda cute when she wanted to be... "Oh my," Cologne exclaimed as she re-examined the bracelet, ignoring the little drama behind her. "That really WAS the Permanent pill..." "Urk," managed Ranma. "Oh my," sighed Kasumi. "Ranma!" Akane said as she performed a near-perfect example of an Amazon Glomp(tm). "I love you. Love you lots!" "She must have been watching Shampoo," was Cologne's observation. "Ah, well, there's no help for it now." "Isn't there any alternative, Elder Cologne?" Kasumi hesitated. "Maybe a cure?" "Not that I know of," Cologne sighed. There were times this job really got to her. "That doesn't mean they don't exist, but I haven't run across them in three hundred years, so it's not in Amazon Lore. Maybe there's something Japanese." "Huh?" Ranma managed. Cologne idly indicated Kasumi with a quick point of her walking stick. "What Miss Tendo here was asking, Ranma, was if there were any alternatives left to Shampoo killing you and Akane Tendo." Ranma noted she wasn't referring to him as "son-in-law." This did not bode well. "What a pity that it wasn't you, Kasumi, who swallowed the pill. Even if it had been your OTHER sister, as the warrior code does not apply the same restrictions to non-warriors as it does to conduct between warriors." Cologne sighed again. "Sometimes, I really feel my age. Anyway, despite her lack of skill..." Ranma urked again as Akane's grip gave a sudden tight squeeze that wasn't from affection. "...Akane IS a warrior. Therefore, Shampoo at the very least will have to kill Akane now." Cologne idly reached out with her cane and whapped Happosai. "You know, I don't blame Ranma, I don't blame Akane, and I certainly don't blame Shampoo for this state of affairs, Happi." "Uhm," Happosai mumbled. He had THOUGHT he had been concealed. "Well, why worry about Fate. Que serra serra and all that." Akane let go of Ranma and faced Happosai. Ranma cracked his knuckles. Cologne started putting out a battle aura. Kasumi frowned. Outside, Nabiki snuck away. If she played her cards right, she could make a fortune with the betting on this... ---------------------------------- Akane sighed and leaned into Ranma's side, giving off a contented little sound. Ryouga watched the two walking towards the dojo and felt his heart of glass shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. Just the happy & contented look on Akane's face was enough to cause Ryouga to flee rather than then be forced to see this. "Oh, Ranma," Akane whispered. Ranma bit back the quick reply. He'd promised Kasumi. "Uhm, Akane, you're cutting off the circulation in that arm." "Oh..." Akane let go. Then grinned and started studying Ranma's face. Ranma flushed slightly. "Uhm, Akane. About our fathers..." "Yes, dear?" Akane blushed slightly. She wondered if Saturday would be a good day for a wedding. "Ranma's right," interrupted Kasumi. "If you act like that, you'll end up married tonight." Akane grinned and straightened up. "Cool!" Ranma stumbled and looked in horror at the girl walking next to him. This was...just wrong! "Yes, Akane, but wouldn't you and Ranma like to graduate first?" Kasumi tried to ignore all the improper behavior from her sister. She wasn't in her right mind after all. "Yeah, that's it. Gotta finish school first!" Ranma spoke fast before Akane could get a word in. Akane pouted. Well, it sounded reasonable when Ranma put it THAT way. "But...Ranma...I..." "Don't worry, Akane, we'll figure something out," Ranma nodded. Kasumi nodded. She'd have to get Nabiki's help. Otherwise, the way Akane was looking at Ranma, he'd be seduced and married by the end of the week, and while that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, then Shampoo would have to kill them both or they'd have to kill Shampoo. Kasumi thought that even with Nabiki helping to run interference, and reminding Ranma that Akane wasn't doing this of her own free will, that this was going to be extremely difficult. --------------------------------- Ranma heard her behind him, climbing up onto the roof, and approaching but slowly, as if she expected him to flee off into the night. "Yo, Akane." Ranma just continued to watch the stars, aware of her presence, but remaining neutral. "R-Ranma." Akane stuttered, getting a little nervous. "Do you mind if..." "If we what?" Akane hesitated at seeing him tense up. It was as if she were truly dealing with his namesake- a wild horse. One that had to be approached carefully. "Talk. Just...talk." He eyed her, nervous about this. She had gotten so forward since she "went on the pill." "Ranma...do you...hate me?" Ranma turned partially to her, a sad expression crossing his face. "No, Akane, I don't hate ya." "Then...why?" The floodgates opened and tears began to track down Akane's face. "Why keep me at a distance? Is it because I'm not as cute as Shampoo, or as good a cook as Ukyou, or..." Ranma's fingers gently touched her mouth, quieting her. He smiled a little. "Because, I'm no good with that feelings sorta stuff. Y'know that. You used to be no good with that either, remember?" "Then...you like me?" Ranma stiffened for a moment. It was the utter vulnerability he saw in Akane's face that prompted him to suppress the quick insult, the harsh word. There was no hint of deception in her eyes, just a deep longing that made him feel warm. "Ah, Akane. Yeah. I like you, I like you a lot." Ranma couldn't entirely suppress some sort of comment, however. "I like you a lot better since you stopped tryin' to kill me or beat me to a pulp." "Really?" Ranma swallowed. The image of a bed of glowing coals came to mind, an image from the days of camping out with his father on that training journey. What he said now could either cause the coals to become a warm blaze, or forever quench that fire. Another presence made itself known in a subtle manner, Ranma knew Nabiki was below them, ready to intervene if little sister got too "forward." Ranma remembered his promise to Kasumi. "Really, Akane. And don't go saying you're less cute than Shampoo, ne?" "Ranma..." Akane started crying again. Ranma watched in dismay. What had he done now? She was crying again? He tried to figure out what he had done wrong now... "You're just saying that, aren't you?" "Huh?" Ranma stopped trying to figure this out. He was quite obviously in over his head here. "No, no, Akane. Really. I...ah..." "You...don't love me, do you?" "Urk," Ranma managed. "Akane, it's that love pill that's talking. You know that. I can't take advantage of ya this way." "No, Ranma, I've loved you for a long time," Akane faced away from Ranma now, sitting down and seeming to study the night. "The pill just allows me to be honest about my feelings." "Huh?" Ranma thought that this night was just full of surprises. The thought also occurred to him that maybe he should have had heart-to-heart talks with Akane before this, as it may have cut down on the headaches. "Ranma, why do you fight getting married to me?" Akane sighed. "Does it really upset you that much?" "Those pills are something else," Ranma mumbled, before speaking in a more normal tone of voice. "Ah, no I guess not... but...aren't we kind of young?" "Don't you think the main reason," Akane said slowly, "we've fought so much is that our Dads push us at each other so much." "Uhm, yeah." Ranma found himself wishing that Akane could have been this thoughtful before the pill. As it was he felt a great deal of guilt piling up. She was too vulnerable right now, and he felt he was taking advantage of her being drugged out of her mind. Ranma took comfort in the fact that Nabiki was still below them, so this still hadn't gone too far, apparently. Nabiki would know when that invisible line was being crossed... Below the two, Nabiki smirked. This would make her a considerable amount of money, as well as accomplish a few other minor objectives. Just as long as Akane stuck to her script. --------------------------------- Genma found the note pinned to the inside of the bedroom door. His eyes bugged, he had to tell Soun about this. Soun's reaction was predictable, with rivers of tears soon flowing. "How could they do this to us?! Akane! A-ka-ne!" Kasumi picked up the note and started reading aloud for Nabiki's benefit. "Dear Mister Saotome, "Despite all your efforts, Ranma and I will not be immediately taking over the dojo and raising your grandkids. We are eloping, and by the time you read this will be long gone. "Ranma has agreed to train me, and we will be taking a ten year journey to perfect our Art. After all, if his father could do this for ten years, how could he not spend at least this much time with his wife? Quite a honeymoon, ne? "Tell Shampoo thank you, after all, me and Ranma might never have gotten together if not for her help. "I'll write again, sometime later. "Your daughter-in-law, Akane." Nabiki quietly took the letter from Kasumi's nerveless hands and glanced over at the bawling fathers. THIS could be parlayed into some heavy money. And she did. And it was. And everyone lived more or less happily ever after, certain exclusions and limitations may apply, not available in all areas. ===================================== (1): Ranma gets Akane exclusively fics by me: Happi Days, Mushroom Madness (though she drives him away by the end), and Saint Ranma. Also implied that this is how it will end up in Now Printing, Interesting Times, Role Paying Game, and there was an Akane-Ranma marriage at the original ending of Enslaved. (2): yes, this is all part of that bizarre little RPG milieau that i started back in '79 with the old Metagaming boxes of Melee & Magic. (hands up, all of you old enough in anime & gaming and the crossovers to remember the old Metagaming stuff and playing a game during the commercial breaks for "Star Blazers" -ah, the tiny little bright areas of the '70s.) i wanted a world where everything had a rational explanation, such as how an elf and a human could possibly produce offspring(3). Aramar was the result, and these strange genetically engineered amazons fit in to this same mileau. (3): because humanity is the ancient race that spawned the elves (L-5ers) and dwarves (heavy worlders) among others, using human genetic samples, that's why.