Second Labor: A Reluctant Bet Chapter 10 - A Pokemon Named Ed by Gregg Sharp ===== Ranma Saotome, Ranko Saotome, Genma Saotome, Nodoka Saotome, Akane Tendo, Soun Tendo, Kasumi Tendo, Nabiki Tendo, Ukyo (Spatgirl) Kuonji, Ryoga (P-Chan) Hibiki, Shampoo, Mousse, Tatewaki (Blue Thunder) Kuno, Kodachi (Black Rose) Kuno, Dr Tofu Ono, Happosai, and Hinako (Vampira) Ninnomiya are copyright by Rumiko Takahashi. Pikachu, Magmarashi, pokemon, pokeball, Ponyta, Squirtle, Charmander, Lizardon/Charizard, General Havok, Bulbasaur, Sandshrew, Vulpix, Machop, Eevee and Team Rocket are copyright Nintendo. Kiyone, Mihoshi, Tenchi Masaki, Sasami (Pretty Sammi) Jurai-ou, Washu, Seiryuu, Ayeka (Call Me Princess) Jurai-ou, Tsunami, and Ryoko are copyright Pioneer. Urd, Belldandy, Keiichi Morisato, Skuld, Yggdrasil Network, Goddess Relief Office, Earth Assistance Hotline, Marller, Senbei, Telecommuting Goddesses, and Megumi Morisato are copyright Kosuke Fujishima. Grey, the Rival Relief Office, the Barely Adequate Force, The Knights Of The True Probability Matrix, Toltiir, Pandimensional Express, the Quest For The Ultimate Peanut Butter Sandwich, are copyright Shigatsu Bakano. --------------------- Target Timeline: "Oh come now, I'm not here to punish you, Genma Saotome. YET." The goddess looked a bit uncomfortable at Genma's wailing and the way Soun was cringing. Genma stopped grovelling but remained in the Crouch Of The Wild Tiger. Just in case. "And WHO are YOU supposed to be?" Nabiki was trying to remain cool and aloof but suspected the woman's identity and was trying to avoid joining Genma in his endeavor. "Who am *I*, Nabiki Tendo? I am... 'Ranma's' new fiancee, per a little agreement with Nodoka Saotome." Shampoo frowned, not understanding. She understood SOMETHING about this woman frightened Ukyo and Nabiki, and therefore there was a danger here. Drawing weapons, she prepared a fight. "You engaged to little brother? Shampoo challenge you! Only fit warrior marry!" "Okay." The woman held up a hand, pointing the palm at Shampoo. Gold flames shot across the room at the Amazon. Shan leapt in front, blocking the blast, but was knocked back into Shampoo and then through the wall. "HEY! This is MY room!" Ukyo drew her spatula. She didn't care WHO it was, this was her home. The goddess raised an eyebrow. "Kuonji-san. With the Disarmament, your ancestors put aside the sword and bow for the spatula. As their samurai clan was impoverished, they had to support themselves through skills other than warcraft. Remember, Kuonji-san, remember the pledge of your ancestors." Ukyo blinked and seemed to sag. "You know? Then you ARE..." "Amaterasu Omikami," agreed the goddess. "Sorry about the mess." ------------- Shan hit the ground hard and shuddered a couple of times. "Technique: Solar Bomb. Acquisition Complete." Shampoo merely groaned. Shan picked herself up, estimating current power level at less than 75%. Insufficient for direct confrontation. That no combat was occurring in the room on the second floor indicated the possibility that there was no need for such measures. She hoped so. She wanted to be in better shape before she had to acquire any other techniques. -------------- A Pokemon World: "So where's our client?" Kiyone held herself as if she was ready for a gang of hardened criminal space scum to show up and start shooting up the place. In fact, she would have *preferred* that to happen, as it was much more familiar ground. Keeping an eye out for living plush toys with elemental powers was not what she had envisaged on joining the RRO. "Three hundred yards ahead." Grey walked and tried to study the display on his Rival Relief Office laptop. "Something is odd about this entry. We're supposed to help someone named Ed, but there's indication a Wish was used by him previously. Normally more than one Wish is prohibited except under special circumstances." "Do tell." Kiyone was a bit distracted but this was more information, and you could never tell what bits the cyborg revealed would come in handy. Sasami merely laughed while Magmarashi snickered. "Yeah, Wishes are a PAIN. A lot of timelines get spun off by a Wish. If you had one and made a Wish for say, a world without Mihoshi, you might end up teleported to that Earth we were on that had the poisonous atmosphere. i visited one world where some guy had gotten a Wish and had sung along with the lyrics of 'California Girls' and stated the desire that 'I wish they all could be California Girls.' That had been bad." Kiyone shuddered slightly at the thought of a whole world that looked like Mihoshi. "Piiika?" Grey looked at the plump yellow rodent in the clearing, then down at the display, then back at the rodent. "THAT is our client?" "Chu?!" The pikachu went from looking for a way out to openly staring at Sasami and Kiyone. "Well, i can't speak Pokemon, so THAT is a bit of a wrinkle." Grey started considering the problem and deciding how to overcome this. Kiyone tried sign language briefly, then a few other languages she knew. "Let's try this. Kiyone, i got you that carrisack and Sasami's backpack off the shelves. See if there's anything marked as a translator. The badge here only works for dominant human languages, and even then is kinda haphazard." "Nothing here." "I don't have anything like that either," said Sasami a moment later. "Just this." "Don't wave magic wands around, Sasami. It's not polite." "Oh my." She had merely thought it was something out of a Sailor Moon playset. The pikachu flinched as well. "How can they understand human language but not speak it?" Kiyone kept an eye out for any other pokemon. After all, they were an advantage to grab in a business where the agents were seriously underpowered compared to the other agencies and frequent missions. "Some can, there's a talking meowth on a mainline. It's difficult and they have to teach themselves due to their mouth configuration being different." "Ichu?" The pikachu scrunched up his face. "Ikka. Ii?" "Ya can't do it THAT quick, fella." Grey gave him or her points for trying. "Ichu!" The pikachu hopped over and grabbed a stick, scratching two letters into the dirt. "ed? As in education?" Grey watched the pikachu facefault. "Oh. Your NAME is Ed?" "Pika pi!" The pikachu ran up to Kiyone, noting that Sasami already had a pokemon. "Piii pika pi!" "You want to be MY pokemon?" Kiyone got a little misty eyed but quickly dismissed it. "Pikachu!" Ed solemnly nodded. "Great, the mission was a level four intervention, which is a physical danger. Getting you out of the environment ought to do that. We just have one thing i need to do first." "Pika?" "What's that?" Kiyone held a hand out and let the pikachu scramble up to her shoulder. "Get a replacement pokemon, and THAT looks like a good one." ------------------ Morisato Household: Urd sprinkled powder into the circle, the magic guiding it into the correct pattern. All three Urds nodded as the last sparkling mote moved into place. "Are you sure about this?" Belldandy looked askance at the Circle. It wasn't an Ultimate Circle Of Warding, merely a Mediocre Circle Of Conjuration. As Urd had said, it was appropriate and was sure to get the attention of Tyr (God Of Justice) and placate Bruno (God of Irony). Mainly because their assistance would strengthen the spell enormously. "The bloodbond was done in a marriage ceremony, Bell. They violated an oath, a sacred promise, and Grey had TOLD them he was contacting rescue. If they hadn't planned on abandoning him from the first, they would have gravitated to him despite the dimensional influence. And look in that scrying glass. Only one of them has any regrets about how it turned out and the others are convincing her that it was all for the best." Belldandy winced. Promises were something she valued highly, but this... The three Urds began weaving their fingers through the smoke rising from the Circle. "Let the weave between these five, Strengthen, tighten, come alive. Four who sought their oath to cheat, Shall find it's not an easy feat. To punish oathbreakers, Tyr, I ask, Help me in this simple task. They who sought only to depart, Love shall bind now will and heart." Urd had worked this all out in advance, however she had a habit of ad-libbing that had gotten her into trouble before. Remembering that an Elder god had an interest in the boy (though mainly as source of amusement), one of the Urds blurted out something she hoped would put extra power into the spell. "Toltiir, cat of mischief, your assistance please lend, The girls who used him, hearts and minds now bend." Belldandy's eyes bugged. There wasn't much that could do it. This had. "Urd, NO!" Of course, it was already too late. --------------------- A Pokemon World: "Prepare for trouble," said Tatewaki Kuno, brandishing a pokeball. "And this is double!" Kodachi announced, delicately sniffing a black rose. "To defend the world from devastation!" "To unite all peoples within our nation!" "To become the icons of truth and love," "To conquer even the stars above!" "Tatewaki!" "Kodachi!" "Team Kuno, striking with awesome might!" "Surrender now or you'll see the light!" "Uhm, lemmee guess, y'all are the badguys, right?" Lita wasn't too sure about this odd world they found themselves in but certain things seemed to fit into set patterns. These somehow struck her as minion villains. "Give us all your valuables," suggested Kodachi, "and maybe we won't have to hurt you. MUCH." "Starting with your pokemon!" Lita stepped in front of her friends. "Well, even WITHOUT our transformation pens, I think I can handle you two without any problems." "Ohhhh. I'm scared." Tatewaki chuckled and drew a short rod. With a flick of a button on the side, he telescoped it out and sent a crackling electric charge down its length. "We don't HAVE any valuables," protested Mina, "just the clothes on our backs." "Then, I'm afraid we'll just have to find another way to make a profit off of you!" Kodachi laughed as if at some joke. "And now... ARBOK!" "AAAAAAA!" The ex-Scouts came to a consensus of opinion when confronted by an eight foot long cobra. Lita thought she'd have to just do it. "JUPITER STAR POWER!" "MARS STAR POWER!" Rei had come to the same conclusion. Nor was she alone. "VENUS STAR POWER!" "MERCURY STAR POWER! "MAKE UP!" The magic flared, but warped by the way the local universe worked. "Bul?! Bulbasaur?" The toad with a plant growing out of its back was take-charge and confident. Deal with the personal crisis later. "Char?! CHARMANDER CHAR!" The lizard with a flaming tail was also unhappy. "MACHOP?!" This was not at all what she had planned. "Ralll?!" The starfish-like creature was quite alarmed by the whole thing. "They turned into pokemon?!" Tatewaki was a little dumbfounded. Kodachi was quick to recover. "Arbok! Poison sting attack!" Tatewaki threw a pokeball. "Drowzee! Hypnosis!" Then he waded in among the disoriented pokemon and beat them down his stunstick. It didn't take long before all four pokemon were laid out. "Now we've got them," Kuno held up a set of pokeballs, intent on the capture. "MAGMARASHI!" A torrent of flame slammed into Drowzee causing it to collapse with little whisps of smoke pouring off of it. "To strike at evil for truth and love," said Kiyone as she stepped from the path into the clearing. They hadn't seen much but HAD witnessed a rather brutal capturing of several pokemon. "Even to travel the stars above," Grey grinned and let his pop-up weapon system activate. Blasting Kuno would be SO therapeutic. "To punish you all for being so mean!" Sasami had been horrified. If Grey had been brutal in capturing Magmarashi, these two were in need of serious punishment. "We'll smash you flat and pop your spleen." Grey winced, it was the best he could do. "What?!" Sasami broke the mood with a questioning look up at Grey. "We'll rehearse this later," promised Grey. "Okay you two, you really want to take us on?" "ARBOK! Use your Screech attack!" "PIIIKA CHUUUUUUU!" Ed decided he didn't want to be hit with that and was curious about how much voltage he could pump out in a single melee round. Apparently the answer was considerable. "Well," Grey said in the following silence, "i've heard snake meat is fairly tasty." "Well," Tatewaki said, "you may have defeated THOSE two, but now I shall have to teach you a lesson. In pain." Grey leapt across the intervening distance and punched out, aiming for his opponent's mouth. He struck the Adam's apple instead with predictable results. He then had to perform an emergency measure to get air past the crushed windpipe. Kiyone easily dispatched the other member of Team Kuno, aided with a couple of static bolts from Ed. Sasami looked around. "They're all hurt! We gotta do something." "Well, i was looking for a pokemon anyway." Grey got the unused pokeballs out. "Looks like i'll have to use these after all." "Why do you have to catch them?" Kiyone wasn't disapproving, merely curious. "Cause carrying them without that is gonna be difficult. Now they're keyed to me, but that's not a problem. As for Team Rocket well, i can't stuff Kuno there into a ball but he could use a hospital. i'll have to fly up, look for a city, then get us all there." Grey pointed to the charred arbok. "We'll get the Drowzee and Arbok for our trouble." "Why did you want pokemon anyway? You said before you'd prefer not to use them." Sasami watched as Grey sucked one after the other of the fallen critters into pokeballs. "Yeah, but we CAN use them and the attacks count as magic for creatures that can only be hurt by magic. i'd PREFER Hoi Hoi Capsules." "'Hoi Hoi Capsules?' What are they?" "When i first joined the Rival Relief Office, they were used by a lot of the agents. Then it was decided they were TOO useful and ended up confiscated by the Earth Assistance Hotline and eventually passed on to the Valkyries. They're a cylinder about the size and width of Kiyone's thumb. They use transporter pattern technology, you push a button and they transform back to their original form, usually a vehicle of some kind. Then when you're done, you can transform it back into a capsule. VERY handy." Kiyone agreed that it DID sound like they would be handy, and without the moral problems of sending animals into fights. ------------------ Target Timeline: Akane went to answer the front door and wondered where her father and sisters were. She was pleasantly surprised by who it was. "Doctor Tofu?!" "Akane, it's been awhile. You look well." Akane's smile dropped a notch as she considered why the good doctor was likely at the doorstep. "I'm sorry but Kasumi's not in right now." "That's okay, Akane," said Doctor Tofu without so much as a blink. "I'm here to see you!" "ME?!" Akane could feel her heart begin to race. "But... Doctor... I'm fine really." "Akane, I know a demon has come to infest your home. You alone have withstood his spells." "A demon?" Akane thought about it. "Isn't Ranma a little wimpy to be a demon?" "No, Akane, consider how he's turned your family against you. Consider the things he's done. He's a demon and a very subtle and dangerous one." Akane considered the possibility. After all, if you couldn't trust Doctor Tofu... "I have something for you, Akane." Doctor Tofu presented a mallet to Akane. "This is a Demon Thwacker Mallet. If you strike Ranma in the head with this, it will drive the demon from the real Ranma's body." Akane accepted the heavy mallet and noted the spirit wards inscribed into one of the business ends. "Wow. I had no idea you were into this sort of thing, Doctor!" "Years of experience, Akane-chan. I can't use it myself, as the demon would be put on guard by my presence. YOU on the other hand..." "This will stop him," Akane hefted the mallet, feeling a comfort in its weight. "Yes, Akane. With one blow you can end his threat to your family forever." ------------------- On noting that Amaterasu had brought a package "TO: Grey, FROM: Edema" it was natural of Shampoo to want to open her "brother's" mail. Likewise, considering that the last time they'd seen Edema she had just introduced them to her mother, the Tendo girls were QUITE interested in seeing this themselves. Besides, everyone needed some time to mentally digest the shocks they'd been getting lately. "More tapes?" Nabiki was a little disappointed that it wasn't magical items of some kind. Or gold. Or something else valuable and useful. "Let's see," said Kasumi as she went through the cardboard sleeves. "'Mirrors Multiplied:Second Season tape 1: Armageddon Again', 'Fighting Blind: OAV 1', 'PB 10:Cosmo Knight's Blues', 'Long & Winding Road miniseries', 'Study In Scarlet', 'A Little Motherly Love'... Odd, look how different I am in these series..." "Kasumi wearing Shampoo's dress on this cover," Shampoo pointed to one of the boxes. "She wear wedding dress on this one, is not on these two covers at all, and what this mean with red string hanging from finger on this one?" "It's 'akai ito' - the red thread of fate that binds those who are fated to be lovers, and it's been cut short." Nabiki studied the Fighting Blind cassette box briefly. "From her expression, I'd say she did it and regrets it..." -------------- A Pokemon World: "Why don't you let them out?" Sasami watched as Grey first shrunk the pokeballs and then put them into his carrisack. "They've been healed but they need additional rest. Besides, there's a bigger chance of seperation." "Oh," Sasami said and reached up to scratch Magmarashi under the chin. "You stay close now!" "Piika!" Ed agreed. No WAY did he want to be left behind in THIS kind of world. "Team Kuno will be behind bars for awhile." Kiyone waved goodbye to Officer Jenny. Her younger sister, Cadet Jenny, watched carefully. "Then it's time for this." Grey took the rod out and pushed the button. The air seperated, the dusk of Chameleon City meeting the early morning of somewhere else briefly before the gate passed over the small group. Plus a certain Cadet Jenny who had darted forward as the transport began. ---------------- Morisato Residence: There was the unmistakable crack-vumm-zaatt noise associated with someone opening a Type III Dimensional portal. Standard for a spell called Worldgate and certain types of D-hoppers. Jared Saotome, the Phoenix Mage, stepped forward with a swirl of cloak and an aura of depression worthy of Ryoga Hibiki at his darkest. "Hello?!" Keiichi took one look and decided that this HAD to be one of Urd's friends. "Uhm, hello. Urd's really busy right now and we're having kind of a crisis." "That's okay. Actually, I'm looking for Grey." "He's not here, err, you're not here to kill him are you?" "No. Keiichi, isn't it? Gee, howcome you never wished to be taller..." "HEY!" Keiichi winced. He didn't like short jokes. "Sorry. Is..." Jared's eyes widened slightly as he looked past the short man to where Belldandy was looking out the kitchen window. And the sliding door. And from the garden. "Excuse me, Keiichi. Is there any place I can have a quick lie down? I'm not feeling too well. I have a feeling recent events are getting to me." ----------------- A Fusion Reality: The city was largely ruined, with craters and shattered buildings as if a war had been fought and lost here. Empty, deserted. For the moment. CRACKLE-VUMMM-ZOT! "Sounds like it needs a tune up," remarked Grey. "Okay, Sasami, keep an eye out. Kiyone, you too... OK, who's the kid?" "I am NOT a kid!" Cadet Jenny frowned. "I'm sixteen!" "You're a kid. What are you doing here?" Grey sighed and started adjusting his D-hopper again. "She's a cop!" Jenny pointed at Kiyone. "And if there's some police agency around here that doesn't have a Jenny on it, then it's MINE!" "Yeeesh," summed up Grey's reaction. "Just what we need - some little police otaku." Kiyone frowned and took a pair of electronic binoculars out of her pack. "What the hey?" Grey flipped his RRO laptop open. "Let's see. Looks like one of the... uh oh." "When you say 'uh oh' I begin to get worried," remarked Kiyone, still looking through her binoculars. "Why are there people flying about in this world like Ryoko?" "This is the Sailorjin timeline. That means we're stuck here for four hours while the dimensional barriers stabilize." Grey groaned. "Might as well let your pokemon out." There was a series of flashes as he released his recently acquired pokemon. "What's a 'Sailorjin'?" Jenny asked, fingering a pokeball on her belt, but deciding not to let Haunter out just now. "This is what they call a fusion timeline. Where two very different timelines spun off a mainline and fused." Grey sighed and eyed the buildings but allowed as they wouldn't be much help. "In this reality a race of talented if generally unimaginative warriors known as the Sailorjin were largely destroyed by a world conquering villain. One capsule crashed on this world, where the girl was named Son Usagi and raised by a martial arts master named Gohan. This girl was clumsy but possessed of enormous talent and strength and went on to become a great hero protecting Earth from the very menaces that largely destroyed her race. "Her friendliness and innocence have recruited a number of villains to her side, including a few members of her original race. If you're familiar with the English version, these would be: Lita, Mina, Amy, Rei, Susan, Michelle, and Hillary. Or something like that. If you're familiar with the subtitled: Makoto, Minako, Ami, Rei, Setsuna, Michiru, and Haruka." "CHAR CHAR!" "Yuuuu!" "MACHOP!" "BUL! BULBASAUR!" "Quiet, please. i don't speak pokemon. Where was i?" "Sounds like 'Sailor Moon' mixed with 'Dragonball'," said Sasami, idly scratching Magmarashi's head. "Exactly." Grey nodded. "And in a 'Sailor Moon' universe they may be reading comics about Tenchi. It's one of those weird things about alternate timelines. I..." Kiyone looked at what Grey was staring at. One of his pokemon was holding a short cylinder over its head and trying to say something. Then the starfish shaped thing seemed to be making crying noises. "Amy?" The cyborg's voice was soft. "Is that you?" "Yuuuu," the starfish agreed, slumping. "Pika pi!" Ed brought his magic slate and scriber out. "Pika!" The chatter of pokemon continued, mainly between the charmander and the pikachu. Finally Ed decided he had most of the story and started writing it out on the slate. "That shouldn't have worked like that," said Grey after reading the message. "Look, you tried to tap into elemental forces in a world where ONLY pokemon can tap into those forces. What should have happened was that you'd have been unable to transform. NOT that you'd transform into pokemon." "Pika pi!" Ed lifted the clear plastic to erase everything, then scribbled something else out. "Yeah, actually." Grey sat back. "Okay, the solutions i see are: "One, i get the bottles of Jusenkyo water out and give you a human cursed form. Problems, there are a lot of ways curses can get scrambled or worsened particularly during dimensional travel. Otherwise i would have offered Ed a splash before now." "Pikkaaa," Ed sounded tempted nonetheless. "Two, we can try finding you an alternate energy source that will override the current one. The pokemon are essentially elemental beings or spirits, at least as far as the home office classifies such things, and they tap into specific energies for things like Staryu's Water Gun attack. With the right manna pool, that would allow for a more human shape. Faerie or something similar would be your best bets." "Char?" "i'll guess you're asking the downside. If Faerie is used, you would become as one of the Faerie races. Human looking and with something vaguely like your Sen-- Scout powers but leaving you vulnerable to things that could hurt Faerie beings - unable to cross a line of salt, things like that. Any other source would likewise have drawbacks." "Chop?" "Then there's blending." Grey looked up to the point that Kiyone was still watching. "One of the dangers of meeting yourself is that when two versions of the same person meet, things can get crazy. Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes the two versions merge into one being, sometimes they cancel out like two soap bubbles meeting in midair." "Saur?!" "Pika Pi!" Ed held up a sign asking what kind of Jusenkyo water the cyborg was carrying. Metal flasks were held up, one after the other. "Man water, Girl water, Bishojo Bride water, whatever that spring that was created when *i* died in it, priest water, twin water. Concentrated form, of course." "Chu be-chu piika." Ed concentrated and tried to SAY something in English despite the odd mouth parts. "Use the magic slate, Ed. It's why i bought it." Grey read while the pikachu scribbled. "Yeah, i think that's the best bet too." "Oh my." ------------- Eros carefully lined up his shot. This was too good a chance to miss. There was that one girl, not doing anything in particular. All he had to do was line it up and as soon as she turned... "HEY THERE!" Ishtar popped in behind Eros. Eros blinked, disbelievingly as once again his arrow shot someone OTHER than he was aiming at. ---------------- and this is intended as the Final segment. which will be after Grey is out and Ranma is backtracked into the timeline. "Ranma was seperated from Genma for a number of years, but Genma finally tracked him down in the city of Miyazaki near Nagasaki." "So he's a 'country boy'?" Nabiki lost a bit of interest, but maybe he had some redeeming qualities. "Is he cute?" "How old is he? Younger men bore me." Kasumi fretted briefly. "What kind of guy is this 'Ranma'?" "I have no idea, I've never met him," said Soun. The roar of an engine announced some vehicle approaching. Windows rattled. Kasumi looked down at her cup of tea and noticed the circular ripples as the noise got louder. Finally the noise cut off, but it sounded like it had ended in their front yard! "Ah, kamisama! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" "That's Genma's voice!" Soun ran to the front door, throwing it open to see his old friend Genma kissing the ground. "GENMA!" "Soun! I survived! The nightmare is over!" "Geez, Mister Saotome, it ain't like I could go that fast or reckless with a SIDECAR!" The boy in the leather jacket got his helmet off, revealing a fairly handsome boy with a scar on one cheek that seemed to give him further character as opposed to detracting from his appearance. "So... YOU'RE Ranma?" Nabiki looked over the boy with a proprietary gleam and decided he WAS cute. Worn black jeans, blue denim shirt, leather vest, a small hammer hanging from a chain around his neck, a few pouches and tools hanging from his belt, thick biker's boots. Tall, and with what looked like serious strength in his arms and shoulders. "Yah," the boy said, holding up one hand. "I'm Ranma Mo... Saotome. Dang, gonna take me awhile to get used to that. Pleased ta meetcha." Kasumi was mollified slightly. The boy was at least polite if a bit crude in his speech. Nabiki stared at the American motorcycle briefly, noting that the sidecar was British, and that the backpack fastened to the backrest had stickers in Chinese and some other language she couldn't place. Well travelled. Akane frowned. How dare some boy come bringing some smelly, noisy, motorcycle into HER home! Feh, and it probably leaked oil. --------------- Shampoo propped her head on her hands and studied her treasure, finally shaking her head at the silliness of it and getting up from the table. He wasn't even a warrior. Just some boy who showed up in the village one day, watched her fighting, and left briefly and when he came back... Shampoo found herself staring at the sculpture again. About the size of her head, a simple unpainted clay sculpture. Nothing but clay from one of the nearby riverbanks hardened by flame into fragile pink stone. Not worth anything much at all. Of course, she had graciously accepted the gift even if it was of little value and from some Outsider male. No, it wasn't of any value at all. Shampoo found herself smiling as she considered it. The statue was of her, standing on one leg in a modified crane stance. The statue's hands both clenched a bonbori and extended behind her like wings. The statue's head was thrown back. Shampoo found herself admiring the statue again and tried to figure out what it was about the statue. The whole pose was of someone confident and triumphant, obviously posing in victory. Something in the way the girl was posed suggested that she was strong and fierce and thoroughly feminine. Something in the face suggested mischief and pride. Shampoo stood up. No, she was a warrior, a Champion, everyone thought she would be Cologne's Heir. She had no time to sit and admire some wandering artist's work. Shampoo sat down in front of her mirror, brushing her hair out, still puzzling over her reaction to the thing. She thought she might have a handle on why she liked the silly thing so much... "SHAMPOO! I'm back, Shampoo! Your loving husband! The future father of your children!" CRASH! Shampoo blinked and put the brush down. Mousse acting like an idiot, normal. Mousse entering her quarters even after repeatedly being threatened with personal extinction, normal. The sound of something shattering... less normal. There wasn't much that Shampoo kept that was breakable. "Shampoo..." CRUNCH! "Oh, there you are!" Shampoo rose and slowly turned. There was Mousse, talking to a dress she had hanging from a peg. There was Mousse, standing in a pile of little pink clay chips. One of which was clearly a hand clutching a bonbori. "M-m-my gift..." Shampoo wondered what that roaring noise was, before realizing it was the sound of blood rushing through her head. Mousse oriented on her voice and turned to rush and glomp the object of his affections. CRUNCH! "SHAMPOO! Oh, I missed you so much!" Shampoo blinked as she saw that mischievous face get powdered under Mousse's slippers. Only the one hand and bonbori seemed to have survived. Mousse was pawing her, saying something, but Shampoo couldn't quite make it out. There had been many times Shampoo had been angry at Mousse. Mistaking her for livestock, chasing off people she was trying to be friends with, getting her chased out of her Healer apprenticeship as his long robes kept sweeping off the shelves as he proclaimed his love the billionth time, interrupting classes dealing with Amazon Lore so he could declare that he would marry Shampoo, attacking a shy and gentle Healer who had once tried to make friends with the Warrior. Yes, there were many times that Shampoo had gotten angry at Mousse, someone who had been a friend while they were very young but had turned into a nuisance. THIS went beyond angry. She stood there, not entirely sure what to do. Simply stomping him was not sufficient. Mousse, noting that Shampoo was not pushing him away, was encouraged. He gestured towards the doorway and took her hand, then stepped forward. CRUNCH. Shampoo twitched as the little bonbori joined the rest of the little shards and powder. "You did that on purpose!" Mousse blinked. It wasn't the reaction he was expecting. She wasn't yelling, but she wasn't agreeing with his suggestion of an elopement either. "You did that on purpose!" Shampoo repeated. NOBODY could be this blind. "Uhm, Shampoo, darling, you're crushing my hand." "Mousse. Go away. Now. Or I will be forced to clean your blood out of my floor." "But, Shampoo, I..." A thin wooden staff tapped his back and Mousse collapsed. "Elder Lilac?" Shampoo contained her anger as best she could. The old Elder of Healers was not someone you got angry with easily. "Child, have I ever told you about my Douglas?" The Elder leaned against a wall and regarded the pink powder on the floor. Nothing for it now but to get a dustpan. "EVERYBODY knows about Lilac's Douglas." Shampoo said, still calming herself. "He was a plumber who defeated you many years ago. Our Amazon village gained indoor plumbing and a water filtration system from that, not to mention the septic tanks, until you finally went your different ways when it was apparent that you couldn't have children." "Some things are beyond even Amazon lore." Lilac nodded, she had pleasant memories of Douglas. At least one plumber had been VERY good with his hands. "So, I take it that you're rather upset with Mousse at present. You look as if you'd have to calm down to simply be angry, or were you aware of the battle-aura you're putting out? Or that you were clenching your teeth hard enough that you've drawn blood?" "That... that..." Shampoo again tried to calm herself. "Here child," Lilac moved around Shampoo touching a set of pressure points as she went. "The Clear Thinking shiatsu technique. One of my favorites. Now tell me, why does this upset you so much more than any of Mousse's other fumble-fingered attempts to woo you?" "Because..." Shampoo's voice trailed off as the answer clicked into place. "Because some Outsider I've never met before saw me more clearly than Mousse ever had. The statue didn't just look physically like me, in some way it *captured* me..." Lilac nodded. "A very good likeness and it was a fine memento of your victory, longer lasting than that feast too. Obviously that Outsider is a skilled artist and capable of looking fairly deep or he at least captured your essence in that piece. So tell me, Shampoo, if an Outsider Male manages to capture an unmarried maiden?" "But he's not a warrior!" Shampoo saw what the Elder was implying. "Grandmother said that..." "So? When a nineteen year old had just lost his father in a plane crash and stumbled into our village back in 1912, he was a plumber who had studied his trade from birth and knew little of fighting. Cologne disliked him, never did approve of me losing like that, but my Douglas was a treasure to me for many years and benefitted the Village enormously. What do you think, that I made a mistake there?" "But I'm a warrior, and Hiba-chan..." Lilac's eyes glittered. "You think Healers have less pride? I'll tell you two things, Shampoo. One is based on my experience with Douglas. DON'T try to win him on your terms or based on what you see in the Village. Win him on HIS terms." "But my Great-Grandmother..." Shampoo shook her head. Cologne would NEVER go for that. "And the other is that sooner or later, Mousse will challenge you, get lucky, and then expect you to be his dutiful bride..." Lilac let the sentence trail off as she saw the concept penetrate. "Sorry, Elder Lilac, I've got to start packing!" "Oh, and child, I heard him say he was going to Nerima in Tokyo. That's a suburb of the capitol of Japan, by the way. He was trying to arrange for us to ship him a few supplies when he got a permanent address. Plans to be an artist, an architect, AND an engineer. Ah, reminds me of my Douglas in a way..." Shampoo nodded as she threw a few things into a carrisack. Nerima, Tokyo, Japan. Maybe she ought to get a phrasebook. ----------------------- Kasumi turned the glass sculpture over in her hands, marvelling at the detail in something no bigger than her index finger. A glass rose, caught in the act of just beginning to bloom. She held it with a certain degree of wonder at such a thing, and coyly glanced at the manufacturer. Not a "boy" after all. Nabiki had taken HER gift with a certain degree of possessiveness from the start. The glass sculpture was nice, fairly well made, but she doubted it was worth much. Just a generic little piece, a glass swan. Unlike the typical one, this one had been depicted in the act of taking off and even had a hint of feathers scratched into the surface. Considering that it was about the length of her thumb, that wasn't bad, but everyone KNEW how poor artists tended to be. Akane had refused to take the little glass butterfly. She wanted nothing to do with a *boy* after all, and accepting his gift might have been construed as accepting something of this arranged marriage. Instead she eyed it from where it sat, untended and neglected, on the table. "So, son, which one will you marry?" Ranma paused. "Marry? But I don't know anything about them!" "This is Kasumi, she's 19. This is Nabiki, she's 17. This is Akane, she's 16. Pick the one you want, she'll be your new fiancee!" "Are you DEAF?! Besides, I'm going to go to Nekomi Technical Institute. I don't have the MONEY for this!" Soun blinked. "NIT? But son, you're in High School now. Then you can run the dojo! Why go to some college? Just go ahead and marry one of my girls and that will take care of your future. We've planned it all out!" "WHAT?!" "NIT?" Nabiki became a bit more interested. Martial artists generally didn't make much money, artists were usually poor, people with Mechanical Engineering degrees on the other hand... And Nekomi had a high placement rate. Not as high as *some* universities, but respectable. Akane just huffed, continuing to stare out of the corner of her eye at the butterfly. The pattern of thin colored glass in the wings seemed to slide across her eyes. No, she would NOT indicate that she liked it. It was just a stupid perverted boy, after all, and if she encouraged him he might get weird ideas. "BOY!" Genma slapped his son in the side of his head. "You WILL marry one of these girls and carry on the Anything Goes school!" WHAM! Kasumi apologized for her impertinence as she removed the frypan from Genma's head, wondering how THAT got there. She returned her gaze to the rose. It had been YEARS since a boy had given her a gift, and she couldn't ever remember being given flowers. Several Tendos were staring at Kasumi. For Kasumi to pull a blunt object out and casually lay a trained martial artist like Genma out cold was a shock. That Kasumi was studying the glass rose and BLUSHING slightly?! Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Kasumi, isn't Ranma too young for you? He's only sixteen, after all." "Hmmm? What, Nabiki? Did you say something?" Kasumi glanced up, still a bit distracted. Nabiki didn't facefault, but it was a close thing. Akane fumed. So that was it. This *boy* was attempting to seduce her innocent older sister! And succeeding! He was just *acting* like he wasn't interested! "YOU PERVERT!" "Huh?" This was said by more than one member of the audience, not having read Akane's thought balloons. Soun leapt to the wrong conclusion, naturally, which was that Akane and Kasumi were BOTH interested in Ranma. This led to another round of joyous weeping. "So, Ranma, you want to be an Engineer?" Nabiki decided to ignore the things she couldn't understand for now and concentrate on getting information. "Yes, actually, I want to learn Architecture and keep up my artistic studies as well." Ranma smiled at someone who actually seemed to be interested in his plans. "With the expansion of Japan's cities, it seems that we need to look at alternatives to traditional urban sprawl. Underwater or underground dwellings seem to be a logical way to go." Nabiki smirked. It was doubtful that it would ever happen, but someone who was a bit of an artist combined with architect combined with engineer? Obviously the boy would need a good financial planner! And Nabiki knew JUST the individual to be the ideal candidate. Soun blinked as he noticed the air of predatory interest. Nabiki's expression was quite familiar, she'd gone through a phase where she had been running around yelling "mine" and laying claim to anything she could. (She had gotten subtler about it but still tended to do this.) That was the SAME expression on Nabiki's face now. Soun carefully followed the gaze from Nabiki to Ranma and then back. Soun erupted in joyous tears, to even a greater extent than before. ALL THREE OF HIS DAUGHTERS! Well, in THAT case, he didn't want to go too fast. No point in pushing if it would break the hearts of the other two! He was so proud of his daughters accepting this burden! So happy with the prospect of the marriage! Genma, still laid out in dreamland, didn't protest. ---------------- "So, Ranma-kun, this is *your* motorcycle? It looks... very nice." Kasumi wasn't quite sure what to say about it. Ranma proudly gestured, immensely pleased at Kasumi's interest. "Yes, it's a 1980 Harley Davidson Shovelhead WideGlide. It was pretty much scrap when I found it, and I had to restore it using non-stock parts, but it was worth it. It was cheap because it was at an estate sale, and I couldn't get everything, and I didn't have a lot of money. The sidecar was off a scrapped 1971 BMW. As for the frame and everything, well, it's a bit of a Mongrel but it works pretty well." "I see," said Kasumi, not having a clue what Ranma was talking about but being polite. "Would you like to take it for a drive..." Ranma offered shyly. "Oh, I don't think... Well maybe, just a short trip." ------------------- oh, and it occurred to me that i didn't send this scene out to my prereaders. it was in FBT 13 just after the kidnapping scene. ------------------- Soun came wailing in to face Genma, tears running uncontrollably off to the sides. "Geez, Soun, you are *such* a weenie sometimes," observed Genma. Soun stopped crying, which was the effect Genma had been looking for. "Yes, Genma, and you're a reprehensible little turd, but that's beside the point. Look at what I found drying on the line outside!" "Very pretty, but it's just not you. I think winter or spring would fit better, that's more autumn." Soun twitched. "It's not MINE, Saotome. It's Sailor Red's seifuku! Do you know what that means?" "That we don't have a clothesdryer?" *WHAM!* Soun put the mallet away. "No, Saotome. TRY to think. I realize with your new drug habit that it might be a bit difficult, but try anyway." "Of course!" Genma chortled as he pulled himself up. He adjusted his glasses, hoping that it made him look more scholarly. It didn't. "When Sailor Red comes back for her clothes, we'll capture her and sell her secret identity to the Yakuza! Thereby getting me off the hook with them!" *WHAM! WHAM!* Soun sniffled and put away the hammer again. "It means my delicate, fragile, too easily hurt, not ready for such things, darling daughter Akane is Sailor Red. See, it's even got her name on it." Genma red the indicated tag inside the clothing. "If lost or stolen, please return to Akane Tendo, Tendo Dojo, Furin-ken, Ota-ku, Nerima Japan. AHH! Then if we sell Akane to the Yakuza..." *WHAM! WHAM! WHAMMITY WHAM!* "Truly Genma, you ARE an idiot. We'll try these again after your allergy pills have worn off." -------------------- In the Jared news: he called to say his new computer is on the way and he expects to be online sometime after Tuesday. later. gregg