Featherbrite's Tale Parts 11 - 14 by Gregg Sharp ===== Ranma 1/2 owned by Viz Video & Takahashi Rumiko. Various other characters owned by various other authors. No copyright infringement is intended. "Dragons make great villains. They make better allies." - Stormshadow, "Planewalker's Guide To The Continuua" "Go not to the satyrs for answer. They don't know and you'll have to rescue your women afterwards. They don't mean anything by it, it's just their way." Nimodes Farseer, "Under Eternal Noon." "I am *not* a faerie princess!" R.Saotome ----------------------------------------- Featherbrite's Tale CHAPTER ELEVEN: Satyr Moon? OR Nabiki Knows Best ----------------------------------------- In a studio in Tokyo, Naoko Takeuchi considered the odd package. It had appeared suddenly and mysteriously, and would have been concerning if it had not been the name indicating who it was from. Few knew of the connection between the manga artist/writer and the self- proclaimed "Sailor Agent" named Nabiki Tendo. That was one of Nabiki's stipulations at the beginning of this relationship. And so Naoko used a black felt-tip pen to mark over Nabiki's name on the wrapping before tossing the bits into the trashcan. Naoko smiled. Nabiki had invested in a good camera, and she was continuing to improve her picture-taking skills as time went on. Naoko set one picture aside, then joined with a second and third. Most of the pictures were good, some were great. These three were perfect. Not as art themselves, that was not their intent, but as guides. Sailor Angel, feathered wings of energy spread as she cast her "Heavenly Healing Escalation." Sailor Valkyrie, halberd held at the ready in a pose that spoke of vigilance. The Faerie Princess, tripping over a curb. Major characters, Naoko felt, had to have more limitations than minor characters. Naoko had wanted the main character in Sailor Moon to be someone that the average girl reading her comic could identify with on some level. Sailor Moon's Usagi had therefore had a heart of gold, feet of clay, and hands that mainly seemed composed of thumbs. It seemed that the Faerie Princess, from the notes accompanying the photos, would be following that tradition. Even if the Princess wasn't the Main Character, she was still a primary character. She was clumsy and rough because she had been raised as a boy by her father, constantly on the road to avoid becoming a Dark Kingdom target until she was old enough to make a stand. Now that she was coming into her true identity, there was a conflict as years of upbringing clashed with the new roles being forced upon her. The Clark Kent effect, Naoko reflected, sort of. A rough-and-tumble "boy" who has learned to be self-sufficient now has superpowers, but only when transformed into "his" true identity- the Faerie Princess. Now also having to learn to rely on others and be around friends and supporters when previously she had been living out of garbage cans and deserted houses. Fanboy wish fulfillment to some extent, if nothing else just in the association with the other Sailors. Naoko peered at the picture. Makeup and jewelry were part of the transformation, obviously. The tomboy persona that Nabiki had indicated couldn't be comfortable with these things. The note accompanying the pictures was burned, per Nabiki's request. It was a plot point that would certainly catch most of her readers by surprise. She didn't notice the little form that flitted from the package to the storyboards, and from there to inspect the rest of the room. ------------------ Shampoo raced into the open door and hid under a table. " A CAT!" "Oh my!" Nabiki looked at the pink cat, over at the obviously frightened Ranma, up at the fretting pixie, and back again. "You're scared of cats?" Featherbrite sighed and watched Ranma hiding behind the grill. "He'll get over it in a minute. I made a major mistake years ago..." "Mistake?" Kasumi watched Ranma slowly regaining control. "His father was trying to teach him some Catfist technique. I figured since it was supposed to give him the mind of a cat, if he looked into a cat's mind, he ought to be able to fake it, right?" "Unnnnn," managed Ranma. Featherbrite's mouth formed a moue of distaste. "I kinda blew it. He's been scared of cats ever since." "Sh-Shampoo?!" Everyone looked at Ranma for a minute before Nabiki broke the silence. "Yeah, he's lost it." "It *is* Shampoo," Kasumi exclaimed. "It's a cat," replied Nabiki then thought better of it. Guys turning into sylphs, self sacrificing half ogres, youma Sailor Moon otaku, and her secret bank account now having twelve times the value it had last year. Having one's face rubbed in the impossible a half dozen times before breakfast tended to throw one off terms like "impossible" or "this can't be" or even "damn unlikely." "MEOW! Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow! Mewmeowmew!" "I see," Ranma said, recovering nicely now that he was sure that the cat wasn't. "So you ended up in Jusenkyo too..." Kasumi blinked. "You understood her, Ranma?" "MEOW MEOW!" "Well, duh, Shampoo. Of course I can speak with enchanted creatures. Standard faerie spell." Kasumi started a kettle heating. "Oh my. That must be very handy." "Almost indispensible in the Faerie Realm," Featherbrite interjected. "Hey, Ember, Whitewind, gimmee a hand here. I think having an enchanted cat isn't *nearly* so interesting as having an enchanted *talking* cat." "I don't know, they're both a dime a dozen." Whitewind blurred by. "Look at all the talking toads and frogs..." "And ferrets, mustn't forget the ferrets." Crystalynn pointed out. After all, the ferrets threw excellent parties. "All they do is squeak," complained Jaquelynn. She didn't like sticking around this place. No parties, too warm by half, and all this *metal* lying about. "Girls like a guy who can squeak," opined Crystalynn. Five pixies started an argument while Nabiki conferred with Ranma and altered the curse so that Shampoo could at least talk in her cursed form. "What about making her a cat-girl?" "A were-cat? Too cliche. Besides, that hits her with a whole bunch of silly Rules like 'weather permitting, all cat-girls must be scantily clad.' We could add wings?" "A kitty-hawk? Oberon's balls, girl, she's going to get those wings tangled up around here." "She's right, kitty-hawks are about as manueverable in the air as Bat. At least Sailor Amazon is more manueverable." "Don't get your panties in a knot, Featherbrite, it was just an idea." Featherbrite blinked. "What the heck is *that* supposed to mean?" Ember shrugged. "Just something I heard on that box with the moving pictures. I kind of liked that Mughi thing they were showing on the 'Anime Flashback' program." "What a cool idea!" Crystalynn bounced. "And we could all wear outfits like that redhead and that Yuki girl!" "That's Kei and Yuri, Crystal." Featherbrite began to look thoughtful. Shampoo thanked Ranma and Nabiki for giving her the ability to speak and suggested they go somewhere before enthusiastic and creative pixies started implementing their designs. Ranma dodged a scarlet beam, which went out the door. She blinked as she realized that Nabiki and Kasumi were now wearing "Dirty Pair Classic" battle- bikinis. Ranma quickly agreed with Shampoo, and five figures went to give the faeries some "cool off time." Kasumi was blushing, the surface area being extraordinarily visible in her current mode of dress. Nabiki was less put off by the lack of coverage afforded her by the outfit, and Ukyo was nearly as embarrassed as Kasumi. A few moments later, a mailbox burst open and a battle-bikini clad Tsuabasa wailed to the heavens about how her old outfit had mysteriously vanished. She had no idea HOW but she KNEW that those people hanging around Ukyo were responsible for this... Tsubasa gave chase up until she got a good look at the figures. Then, one massive nosebleed later, she started feeling guilty about having feelings for someone other than her beloved Ukyo. Nature abhors a vaccuum, you see. When one character drops a role, another often arises to take it up. -------------------------------------- Kasumi was blushing brightly in her Classic Dirty Pair battle bikini. She was also shivering slightly. Which was why they'd settled on a kissaten, it wasn't as cold once they were out of the breeze. Ranma considered briefly letting them sit around in the tight, cold, revealing, uniforms as a form of revenge briefly. Nah. "Y'know, if you transform, then shift back, you'll probably be back in your normal clothing." Kasumi all but fled to the bathroom. When she returned, wearing more normal clothing, Ukyo scrambled for the bathroom, followed by Nabiki at a *slightly* more dignified pace. Nabiki didn't have any transformation abilities, but she was interested in the possibility of slightly greater warmth. When the others had rejoined Shampoo-neko, Ranma shook his head. "I should warn you, whenever we visited the Faerie Realm, Featherbrite got like this. Pixies are usually pretty irresponsible I guess, and when she's with a lot of other faerie that tends to come out." "Ranma," said Nabiki after a moment. "I'm... sorry." Ranma merely smiled slightly and squeezed Nabiki's shoulder in reply. "What for?" Ukyo questioned. "I *had* resolved to be a little less mercenary, after all - I *am* exploring entirely new avenues for me." Nabiki looked sadly into her cup of tea. "I shouldn't have been so..." Hot water splashed Shampoo, who realized her current state of undress, and ended up getting splashed with cold water until such time as some warm clothing could be procured. She didn't really mind being naked, depending on the company, but there were limits. "So you went home and ended up getting cursed, Shampoo?" "Two bad girls from Herbal Village, have old rivalry-feud with Shampoo. Names Rink and Pink. They use poison many times. This time they throw Shampoo in Jusenkyo 'Spring Of Drowned Cat'. Was almost very terrible tragic story. Shampoo get away, run across big bat and goat-boy, escape Rink and Pink by going through hole in air. They still chase Shampoo." "Poisons?" Ranma looked thoughtful for a moment. "Chemical process or natural poisons?" "They use plant poison." Shampoo-neko considered Ranma briefly. "You know spell?" "Yeah, and there's a wide-spectrum antidote I can mix up. There's a number of plants in the Faerie Realm that're kinda aggressive." Ranma still considered something. "There's also a spell pattern, where you ask the body to toughen its defenses against plant poisons. If someone's gonna be throwing Janus thorns and the like, or Mindrut pollen, it won't be completely effective but it'll help." "Janus thorns? Mindrut?" Nabiki's curiosity was piqued. "Mindrut is the main ingredient in faerie Lemon Drops. Basically it suppresses the conscious mind's inhibitions while increasing the reproductive drives." Featherbrite said, settling into place on the counter. "Janus thorns take someone's primary personality trait and invert it. They're both faerie plants. Why?" "New opponents," summed up Ukyo. "Calmed down, yet?" "Just got a little excited, that's all." Featherbrite shrugged, not really understanding why they were so upset. "Guys, can we have this conversation AFTER I get a jacket?" Nabiki rubbed her arms and tried to keep her teeth from chattering. "I need WARMTH." ----------------------------------------------- "No, she can't be the real Faerie Princess," Zed waggled a finger chidingly at Smedley. "It's out of genre for the obvious one to be the Princess." "Well, who is it then? Let's grab her, get it over with, and get back to..." Smedley stopped. Did he really want things to go back to being status quo this quickly? "Patience, Smedley, patience. Now, how do we go about determining who the real Princess is?" "That's obvious!" Smedley snorted. "We kidnap the fake princess and then watch for whoever shows up to rescue her." Zed opened his mouth, ready to give all the reasons that wouldn't work. He stopped. It was logical within the genre, it would be in keeping with thousands of years of heroic tradition, and it was definitely in keeping with their Lord's plans. "Smedley, that's actually pretty good." Smedley reached for another bottle of this "Fat Weasel Ale" and bit the bottlecap off. "Then, because we KNOW that the real Princess is coming, and is much more powerful than the Bait, we can put all our defenses to capturing the real one when she shows as the fake one isn't going to be much threat." Zed blinked. "Hmmm." He had to admit it, it sounded like Smedley was onto something. It would, of course, require refinement. The location that the fake Princess would be held, for example, HAD to be just perfect. "Ah, we'll need a special youma creation. Something truly diabolical that will terrify and confound them. Something..." "Something that I'm not concerned with, obviously," Smedley interrupted as he replaced his "Samuel Addams" with a "Sapporo Dark." "MY concerns strictly deal with the placement of my goblins. You can muck about the deathtraps and what have you. My troops will be ready when you are." Zed smiled and took Cool Villain pose #4, using a cantrip to create a breeze to stir his hair and cape in dramatic fashion. "Form and style must be observed. Our first target is Tokyo Tower." Smedley considered, the discovery that Japan had "vending machine" things everywhere had been a shock. But you could actually get BEER out of these mechanical merchants, providing you ripped the doors off, now THAT had been an important discovery. Still, wouldn't it be better to get more of the product? "I dunno. Couldn't we hit the Sapporo brewing facilities?" Zed ignored the comment. "And to facilitate this, I've decided to awaken one of the Titan Abominations!" Smedley did a spectacular spit-take that sprayed beer across the meeting room. He immediately regretted this as an unpardonable waste of brew. "TYPHON?! Why, by all the beer in China would you do THAT?!" "My research shows that 99% of all giant monsters, once roused from their slumber, immediately head to downtown Tokyo," Zed said proudly, pointing to a stack of movie posters, novelizations, and old videocassettes. "Followed shortly by rather pathetic attacks from and humiliating defeats for the Japanese Self- Defense Force! By the time Godzilla or Gamera defeat our ally, any resources that could be used to aid our opponents will be depleted!" "Why can't we just get this Godzilla or Gamera to do the job?" Smedley picked up a poster of "Destroy All Monsters" and remembered seeing something like this once. Of course, at that time he'd been drinking some of that rotgut they called "dwarven ale" or dwarvil. "They are cleverly hidden, even my best divination spells failed to locate their lairs," Zed's eyes grew distant. "This will at least draw them into the open." ------------------- The silver skinned woman regarded her companion. "*Where* did you say this place was?" "They call it Mini-apple-us," Wavefire grinned at her taller companion. "Come on, they've got mortal men - doomed to die and determined to live their short lives to the fullest! Lives full of passion and energy!" "Well, it's gotta be better than hanging around with the satyrs." Nikki agreed, checking her "sailor suit" again. "You got your anti-iron wards up? It won't bother me, but a naiad..." "It's ready. And so are we!" Wavefire nodded at her companion. "It's Wavefire's..." "and Nikki's..." The finished simultaneously. "Operation Sensual Senshi!" Thunder didn't really sound. But it should have. ----------------------- New clothing in place, the small group moved off to discuss "girl stuff." Ranma gave a sigh of relief. Alone at last. No faeries overhead, no girls underfoot, no monsters looming, no responsibilities that he had to immediately turn his attention to. He sat back against the park bench and just sagged against it. No. Immediate. Problems. No new fiancees. No new hostiles. Homework was done. He could just kick back and hang without any... "Zzzzzzzzz" ------------------------- "Stupid Senshi!" The muscular wart-ogre picked up a mid-sized Japanese sedan and clubbed the woman who had repeatedly attacked it. "I strong! I not beaten by puny little mortal girl!" "Sailor Red," cried a boy, unfortunately drawing the ogre's attention. "You like her? You join her." The ogre started forward, chuckling. "Hmmm?!" The ogre blinked, stopping. The ogre staggered as an engine block bounced off his head. Sailor Red wrapped the fender around the wart-ogre's throat and was throttling him with it. "Who are you calling PUNY?!" The ogre flipped back to try and squash Akane behind him. That got her to release her hold on the now almost-unrecognizable piece of metal. "I'm call YOU puny! You ugly and you momma ugly." Yoshinori stepped back, wincing, as the two began a brawl in earnest. No quarter asked or given. The two appeared matched in strength and general toughness, with the ogre having height and reach, compared to Sailor Red's advantage in speed and fighting skill. Bricks flew as the ogre threw Akane through a wall. The ogre grunted as Akane pulled a set of metal bars away from a window and began doing bo staff attacks with the largest of the bars. Akane snarled as the ogre retaliated by flipping a manhole cover up and trying to smash her head in with it. Akane did an axe kick, and then slammed her metal bar over the ogre's head. Yoshi watched as Akane fought a wart-ogre, a creature of inhuman strength and durability. She was practically going toe-to-toe with him, and there was one undeniable thing about this fight. Akane was enjoying the hell out of this. ------------------------ "I CAN'T SAY THAT!" Ranma watched in horror. Knowing that in order to unleash this attack, she would have to yell the name of the attack. She couldn't, someone might hear her. Especially considering the camera crews. "Healing Wave," said Sailor Angel, throwing sparkly little energy crescents out from her wings. "Turn over the Princess now, and I shall allow you to survive this day!" "Screw that!" Sailor Valkyrie exclaimed. "No way we're gonna turn *anyone* over to some tentacle rape demon." "Huh?" The youma, having never watched "Overfiend" was a little uncertain about this. "C'mon, be reasonable. I've got protections against lightning up. Your healing magic doesn't do crap against me, and the rest of your team is away. Just give up and save us all some problems." Ranma abruptly realized what all those writhing tentacles were, or at least what they looked like now that Ukyo had pointed it out. "Ick!" "Yes, impressive, aren't I?" The youma extended himself to his full lengths. Kasumi lost her smile and turned slightly green. Ukyo shot a few more lightning bolts. The aim seemed to be a bit off on these, though enough did strike to prove that lightning-proof was a good description. Several newscrews realized they'd *never* be able to show this youma on primetime and concentrated their coverage on the various Senshi. Ranma grit her teeth. She was going to have to use it. She didn't want to. But... it was so... Tentacles reached out and snagged Sailor Angel. "Royal Princess Final Attack," reluctantly announced Ranma, doing a graceful high speed pirouette and gathering power. Silently she was pleading for the cameras to break down. "Devastating Kiss!" Ranma finished by blowing a kiss towards the youma. The sparkling bolt hit the youma and exploded. Even worse from Ranma's point of view was that the little sparkly bolt was heart-shaped. And pink. "Beautiful!" The youma faded and vanished. Sailor Angel did her best to console the obviously distraught Faerie Princess. The moment was caught on film. Ranma was properly mortified. -------------- Naoko Takeuchi had done a number of small jobs over the years. Manga writer/artist hadn't always paid this well. For one thing, she was a licensed pharmacist. Which had been rewarding in its own way. None of which had prepared her for having a pixie hanging over her storyboards and critiquing the artwork. "It's the *style* of art," Naoko explained for what seemed to be the ninth time. "That boy's so unhip it's a wonder his pants don't fall down," Crystalynn inadvertantly quoted. "Look, he's supposed to be bishonen - after all, he turns into the beautiful Faerie Princess." "And he's not *that* clumsy," clucked Crystalynn. "After all, he's a martial artist. It's when he transforms that she suddenly can't keep her balance and trips over her shadow." Naoko started to protest then considered this. Another source of tension and reason for the Princess (she was breaking with tradition and making her *not* the main character -the emphasis early on being Sailor Amazon then gradually altering to focus on Sailor Valkyrie) to hate her True Identity. "Hmmmm..." ------------------ Mousse pried himself out of the street, wondering if perhaps a change of tactics was necessary. Akane hit harder than Shampoo did, but otherwise they were quite similar. Hey, she had only imbedded him in the street this time, so maybe she was warming to his advances. Ah, the lovely Akane. How like Shampoo in her violent strength, her noble fierceness, the pain she could inflict upon him. Shampoo would be HIS bride. So would Akane. Mousse could endure. He had years of experience, after all. ---------------------- The UnSeelie Court was filled with misfits. Some saw the whole UnSeelie thing as a route to power, more quick and darkly seductive than power within the Seelie Court. Greaket had been one of those. Some espoused the line that the only true life was of Faerie, that these other beings were merely shadows and fit only to serve their needs. Oberon was one of these. Some merely flirted with the dark and twisted imagery and lifestyle, the equivelant of Goths playing at vampiric live action. Sigmund tended to fall into this category. Some were among the UnSeelie because they didn't feel comfortable among the Seelie Court and its supporters. Smedley with his drinking problem and command of goblins fit squarely in this category. And some were just too bizarre to hang around the Seelie. Zed was one of these, that he had a power level along the line of Alpha Class Criminal Kain was also a factor there. There were a few, true outsiders and independents, who belonged to neither Court but merely sympathized one way or the other. H.Bopp fit this category, as the typical satyr games didn't quite fit his lifestyle. So the Seelie, UnSeelie, and Independents could be typified as the Good, the Bad, and the Just Plain Weird. Currently many of the lower levels of the Seelie Court were engaged in observing or participating in a mortal's Epic Quest. Many of the higher levels of the UnSeelie Court were engaged in that same adventure. Quite a few of all three factions found themselves puzzling over just what the heck all the fuss was about anyway. And, as frequently happened in Epic Quests or Adventures or whatever you wanted to call them, some people decided to play copycat. Rather than play at someone else's game, or associate with (insert hated rival's name), they would start their own game. And, as also frequently happened, there would be some who would sit back and criticize and kvetch and gripe and moan. Or they would be insulting, hostile, and feel the need to stick their noses (those who had noses) into things that they were proclaiming were beneath their notice in the first place. Sometimes this had the desired effect and the critic felt superior to the individuals they were focussed on destroying. When this happened with the members of the UnSeelie, a fight usually erupted. Energy blasts and transformation magics were exchanged and thrown about. With the Seelie, the conflict usually consisted in a lot of hurt feelings and recriminations. With the Independents, just about Anything Goes. And so it was with an individual known as H.Bopp, satyr beatnik. "Like, wow," said H.Bopp discovering something completely unexpected. He was staring at the schoolyard of Saint Bacchus' School For Gifted Girls (the frequent rival of Saint Hebereke's School For Girls in Tokyo)with the rapt attention one would expect of a satyr glimpsing the promised land. "Like, double wow." Bat, a prince transformed into a fruit bat sometime in the Dark Ages (years and numbers had faded with time, and transformed princes and princesses were a dime-a-dozen in those days) looked on and marveled at these new inventions. Sunglasses they were called. "What's the big deal?" "Look at all the Senshi otaku," Bopp exclaimed, noting the vast number of Senshi uniforms being displayed below. "It's, like, totally major wild." Bat looked as best he could (being nearsighted) at the lunchtime crowd. He did notice something else, however. "Looks like one of the UnSeelie heading this way." "Oh man, dig all these Senshi chicks. Power levels are pathetic." H. Bopp shook his head. "They must just be fangirls or something. Too bad, man, some of 'em are like major cute." "They're Japanese girls," noted Bat. "A naturally high percentage of cute." "I gotta do something," proclaimed H. Bopp. Bat went for cover as H. Bopp, a spellsinger pulled out his recently acquired guitar and began to play. Spellsingers were, after all, practiced one of the most powerful and least controllable forms of Faerie Magic. "Do you believe in magic In a young girl's heart How the music can free her Whenever it starts, and it's magic If the music is groovy It makes you feel happy like an old time movie I'll tell you 'bout the magic, and it'll free your soul But it's like tryin' to tell a stranger 'bout-a rock 'n' roll." The magic began swirling out as the UnSeelie, a huge red blob, breached the walls of the school. There was some screaming but five of the young girls were surrounded by swirling auras. "If you believe in magic Don't bother to choose If it's H'Bopp's music Or whatever ya choose, just y'all listen, It'll start with a smile, That won't wipe off your face, no matter how hard you try." Five girls who believed in magic knew exactly what they had to do. Five Seelie spirits, drawn by the magic and the music, merged with human hosts. "Your feet start tappin' and you can't seem to find How you got there so just blow your mind." H. Bopp just continued to play. He had no idea if it would work, he had no idea if it would last, but his Art was primary and it would do. -------------- Michie nodded and willed the transformation. Rotating in a golden spiral of light, she underwent the usual Senshi costume change. "Sailor Idol Singer!" Jun landed after undergoing a similar transformation. "Sailor Seiyuu!" Hiroko piroutted and posed. "Sailor Classic Rock!" Satsuki fingered the whip that had appeared in her hand. "Sailor Country?" Atsuko smirked as she held her hand high, trying for an elegant pose. "Sailor Hard Rock!" The blob, ignoring the five, ran them over and continued on through the schoolyard. "Ouch!" All five Sailors managed in an odd unison before passing out. ----------------- Nabiki listened to the story of some group called "the Legion Of Substitute Senshi" (how five girls qualified as a Legion was another question) and wondered what had happened to the nice orderly world she was used to. Ranma grumbled under his breath and stepped out of the bath into the backroom of the restaurant. "Anyone see my clothes?" Kasumi looked up from her medical text and blinked as the towel-clad boy walked past. "I think they're all in the wash." "I thought I'd brought them in, but I sure don't see 'em," Ranma continued to grumble. Shampoo looked up from her homework, considered briefly, then got a playful smile on her face. Ukyo looked up from her supply catalog, smiling for no apparent reason herself as she took in his tight male musculature. She focussed back on the job at hand with an effort. Shampoo whipped the towel off of Ranma, still smiling playfully. "Well, Ranchan, ah...eee ... I... ooo.. uuu" Ukyo had glanced up as Shampoo had made her move. If anyone had asked her at the time, she wouldn't have even remembered what she had been looking for in the catalog anyway. Kasumi, her eyes currently bugged out, nodded. What the question was that she was responding to was anyone's guess. Shampoo was frozen, her gaze fixed somewhere below Ranma's beltline. After a moment of petrified surprise, Ranma disappeared into the bathroom with a startled squeak. There was a few moments of silence, broken when Kasumi gasped as she suddenly remembered to breathe. "Oh my." Ranma zipped past them to the stairs, once again clad in a towel. "Nice... buns, Ranchan," Ukyo said in a low voice when she could speak again. "Shampoo take nice cold shower now." "I think a quick nap is in order for me," said Nabiki shakily. All the while she was damning her teenage hormones for making it impossible to concentrate. Kasumi merely blinked and blushed. "Ah huh." Ukyo blinked again. "Gee, I think maybe I need to open some windows. Awfully warm in here." All four girls exchanged a glance and started laughing. ======================= Next: Shampoo sums up what has gone on in FBT 12 before we get to the Oberon's Gantlet. FBT 13 will be set a few months down the road. =============================== Featherbrite's Tale Chapter TWELVE: Shampoo's Letter "A warm burrow, a good meal, a hot bath, pleasant company. Ah, now *there's* something worth fighting for." F. Baggins, adventurer. "Love stinks." 20th century song lyrics, Datalinks. translated from Chinese, Nichieju dialect. Dear Great Grandmother, I ask your for your help as both the eldest available member of my family, and as Elder of the village. We are in need of your wisdom. I have just finished a visit to what they refer to as a "beauty spa" here in the Osaka area. It was decided that we should change our appearance somewhat, to make it more difficult to track us. We're using our own names, though, as it got too confusing to try to keep track of the various names floating about. Besides, airen says that some of the spells they've laid out will block attempts to track by name. Even though I've had the "odango" style for awhile, my hair is currently arranged in a long braid. It feels strange, but I admit it makes me look a lot different. The clothes are likewise strange, but have a certain appeal. A denim jacket over what they call a 'T shirt', a pair of tight jeans and some leather footwear called 'mocassins.' I'm being passed off as a Chinese-American, as apparently the animosity between Chinese and Japanese is slightly less if the Chinese is also American. I'm having trouble faking the American mannerisms, but I know enough English to get by due to a 'speed learning' spell Ranma cast. Unfortunately, I seem to have a natural difficulty with Japanese, but this is excused from an American where it would be made fun of from a Chinese. Oddly enough, due to the spell, I'm getting better at English than the language that I'm usually surrounded by. The last I saw you, you had commanded me to go with the Old One and meet with the one known as Ranma. If possible, I was to give the Kiss Of Life and marry him. As you well know, I was a little put off by certain things going on at the time. Once in Japan, I found my first and best friend. We make an odd couple, she and I. Her name is Kasumi Tendo and she is one who accepts me completely and without reservation. Our relationship, I hasten to add, is *not* like that of Mace and Flail. I would like to swear her in as my shieldmate, if she meets with your approval. I also discovered that my newest friend's sister was engaged to this Ranma. At first, I dismissed her as being merely a greedy little girl, the sort who could be scared or bought off with little difficulty. This has changed. SHE has changed. Nabiki Tendo is less the sneaky opportunist I had met, and more like a woman who is coming into her own sort of power. I am uncertain about how to proceed here. Kasumi tells me that I must observe the customs of the land I am in, so I've refrained from using Formula 110. The stupid panda sold Ranma off, and since then we have relocated to Osaka. More detail on this when you get here. It is really strange. The Old One is a pixie named Featherbrite. She is of what she calls the Seelie Court, which is a faction of the faerie folk. There is an enemy to the Seelie, called the UnSeelie. Some sources call them the Sidhe and the UnSidhe but they are just different names as far as I can tell. Well, that and the UnSeelie seem to have more raw power and are uglier. During the time I have been here, I have become a Vampire Slayer. Then there are these Japanese superhero types. Ask Sash what a Senshi or a sentai is, you'll be appalled. I know I was. THEN, on the way home to contact you, Rink & Pink ambushed me and took me to a place called Jusenkyo. So now I also turn into a cat when I'm splashed with cold water. Though Ranma has given me the power of human speech in cat form, and the Old Ones have used the extra energies of the curse to allow me to do something else as well. At least that's what they've told me. With the faerie, I'm told you don't hear half what is *really* going on at any given point. In the course of events, I have come to a grudging respect for some of my associates. Kasumi, as I've mentioned earlier, is almost the older sister I've never had. She may not be a warrior, but she's supportive in other ways. Nabiki is becoming a mage, and therefore someone who well may be an assett to the tribe if we can find a pretext to win her support. Spatula Girl, or Ukyo as the others call her, is a bit of an enigma to me. Why would someone forswear her feminity to pursue revenge? Why would some warrior- girl's father seek to make a perfectly good daughter into a boy? These Japanese can be so strange. Spatgirl was on a ten year quest for vengeance. She was apparently engaged to Ranma at an early age. Then the stupid panda-father of Ranma screwed up Ukyo's engagement and family honor all at once. Ranma has made it clear that he doesn't like to see us fight, so we're all *trying* to get along. You've probably seen the television. The Sailor Starriors and their opponents are real. At least it isn't boring, and Ranma compliments me on being such a good fighter. (Hopeful sign.) Sailor Amazon has powers over wind, and is the most beautiful and most 'talented' of the group. As is only proper for an Amazon. (Why they use a term meaning "without breasts" for women-warriors is beyond me.) Sailor Valkyrie has powers over lightning, though she seems a bit obsessive and gets a bit carried away in a fight. Sailor Angel is a gentle healer who usually handles the clean up. The Faerie Princess refuses to use any of her special powers, stating that they are too embarassing to use in public like that. Up in Tokyo, tales have reached us of Sailor Rose. The powerful "Senshi" of plants and growing things. Odd that she uses gymnastic equipment when fighting, but then the village has a few odd fighting styles practiced as well. Also up in Tokyo are Sailor White and Sailor Red. There's also the mysterious Samurai Mask. Well, all three are mysterious. Even if I suspect I know who Sailor White is. Speculation is that these are part of our own group, but due to the length of time to get from Osaka to Tokyo it will take us awhile to go up and confirm. It's too dangerous for Ranma to go, but certainly Nabiki and Ukyo could go investigate. As to the day-to-day stuff. We've got a routine going. Get up, do some light sparring in the empty lot three blocks down, come back and get ready for school. Yes, I am attending school in this Chinese-American identity they've gotten me. If I come across as violent or pushy, it's excused as laboring under the problems of the American school system. Then Rink & Pink will try something. Today it was Rink trying to hit Ranma with some sort of love potion using a blowgun. Of course, it didn't quite behave as expected, and we spent most of the morning prying Kasumi off of Ranma. She's better now, by the way, though she still looks a little sparkly eyed. Then, usually around lunch, this guy named Tsubasa Kurenai tries hitting on Ukyo. Ukyo literally hits back. I told her I empathized and related my experiences with Mousse. Today Tsubasa was disguised as a "sugarplum fairy" - which gives you an idea about this guy. Mousse is blind, but this guy has no fashion sense at all. Mousse is less clueless, does that give you an idea how pathetic this guy is? I can sympathize with Ukyo to some degree here. Having an obnoxious boy who might make a good friend, but continues to assault you, declare love for you, and otherwise act as an irritating pest that keeps trying to latch on to you. Gee, I wonder why I can empathize with the chef... Last week was a bit strange and is still having serious repercussions. Rink and Pink were using some weird "flowers of wimpy housewife" or something like that. Tsubasa was one of those that got hit and he spent the rest of the day trying to knit a sweater for Ukyo before the flower fell off. It was really weird watching some of our regular customers giggling and discussing fashion. It didn't seem to have much effect on Kasumi or Nabiki, I assume their magical defenses were sufficiently strong that they could avoid such a minor curse. Back to Crossdresser Boy. What makes Tsubasa an actual threat is that he has come up (somehow) with the idea that I and the others associated with Ukyo are youma. He even suspected that Ukyo was a fake Ukyo. The "sugarplum fairy" attacked us by throwing beans at us. I wonder if I will *ever* understand these Japanese. Getting rid of evil spirits by throwing beans at them? Then there's a perverted guy named Hideyoshi, a weird girl named Sora, and the school "boss" - a guy named Teppo. Oh and there's classes at school too, but they're boring. I'd rather beat up Hideyoshi, Sora, and Teppo. Fortunately I get lots of chances to do it. With the fights from them, Rink & Pink, the various monsters, and Tsubasa's weirdness, I feel that my fighting skills are improving. And here I was afraid I wouldn't get the chance to practice much away from the village! I could use your wisdom now. It seems that one of the girls from up in Tokyo, down here for some sort of ice skating competition, was able to capture me as a cat. Ranma and Ukyo freed me, but this 'Azusa Shiratori' challenged them to a 'martial arts figureskating' match this weekend to determine ownership of the cat. Not happy at all about this. Azusa is scary. I hope you will come visit soon, Ukyo has got a line on a better restaurant and we could use some help in THAT as well. Sincerely, Shampoo PS: Tell Sash they've got lots of that "anime" stuff on the TV. I'll send her a tape later. PPS: Oh yeah, there's also five girls who transform with music who call themselves the "Legion Of Substitute Senshi." You know how pathetic Lin Lin & Ran Ran's special techniques and fighting skills can be? Even worse. They need all the help they can get. Light a prayer candle for them. Featherbrite's Tale 13: "Kidnapped?! The Lunacy Of Zed!" by Gregg Sharp using characters from Rumiko Takahashi, Naoko Takeuchi, and European Folklore. anyone who thinks i actually own them has been getting in the faerie dust. certain scenes and ideas from Skysaber. "Keep your allies close and your enemies chained to the bottom of a river." -Mannin Shades, "How I became an Emperor (and why it isn't my fault)" page 37. "Is this trip really necessary?" -the little man from the Draft Board ------------------------- Sigmund stomped around, amused at the way he was kicking up little piles of dust. "I don't *remember* there being any ruins on this moon. Where did they come from?" Zed's voice was distracted as he finished a long weaving of enchantment. "Oh, they're authentic. I copied them directly from the manga myself! The originals must have been stolen, I couldn't find a trace of them anywhere." Sigmund finished boggling after a few minutes. He knew that Zed's power level was extreme, and that the UnSeelie Lord had been missing for most of the past few months. Now he knew why. He just hadn't expected this level of attention. "YOU made them?" Zed looked hurt at the implied accusation. "What did you expect??? Our next battle was to be up here and it HAD to look right." Sigmund shook his head. Not doubting it for a moment. Zed was into appearances and had enormous power, but this was just overwhelming. "But... but... why would you go to all that trouble?? I mean, building ruins just to look right..." "I did not build RUINS!" Zed looked offended as he finished inscribing a Rune of Containment and consulted some odd book that he pulled out of his trenchcoat pocket. "But you just said..." Sigmund wasn't sure he wanted to hear this. He was an orclord and preferred simple, straightforward, and violent solutions. "I built the whole Moon Palace! And all the grounds, and as much of the city as I could see. Then I hired expert Diviners, past-viewers and Seers to tell me what the rest looked like! Said something about charging extra for the universe barrier... but it was WORTH IT! "Then I destroyed most of it to look authentic. After all, having a few buildings left for our own purposes only makes sense. There are even authentic copies of Silver Moon artifacts hidden among the rubble, for those final moments when they KNOW they are defeated, to find in their desperation, and pull out in a final, desperate attempt at victory... only to be destroyed anyway." Zed laughed maniacally in true anime villain fashion. "..." Sigmund was speechless. "Winning isn't any fun unless you observe the forms." Zed consulted the book again and started planting a grove of trees, the seedlings being pulled from the other pocket of his trenchcoat. Sigmund grudgingly nodded. ~True, it had been *awfully* dull in the Unseelie courts before all this had happened along.~ Zed dusted his hands off and prepared to cast "Prolific Forestation" upon the grove. "Of course, we had to research the magic of the Silver Millenium to duplicate their artifacts to get them to work just right. But don't worry, I had all our experts on it killed, and the secrets hidden up in that book over there, which they can't possibly find!" Sigmund winced. Had that been thunder? "Well, I'll get my garrison set up in that building over there. Do you mind putting in some fruit trees and some grass? It'll make billeting them a lot easier if we don't have to truck in all our food." "Maybe a few gardeners," Zed said thoughtfully. "Yes, there are some of those hanger-on types that like playing at being UnSeelie." "Goths," growled Sigmund, having little use for them. "They're good at being groundskeepers." Zed nodded finally. "Yes, we'll have a few of them do all the farming and such. There's also some of those like Crunch who will work with no questions asked. Inside the dome, slightly higher gravity, air, water, a self contained ecosystem." Sigmund sighed. Seemed awfully elaborate for a lair, but Zed was a weird one. ---------- The lead UnSeelie, a venomous creature that combined aspects of a moray eel and some huge spider, raised a razor sharp foreleg to strike down the crowd's protector. A golden bolt of energy ripped through the offending forelimb. The shadows of an alleyway rippled and a man stepped out. Dressed in ornate samurai armor, the figure stood a little over two meters in height and was sighting another arrow along a golden daikyu. He loosed the shaft, and it became a fiery golden blast that cleanly seperated the moray's head from his neck. "Sailor Rose, do not weaken before the foul denizens of the UnSeelie who seek to pollute the mortal plane. Sailor Red and Sailor White, be strong. I, Samurai Mask, will hold off these unworthies while you regroup." "Rather more effective than throwing roses, though less romantic," commented Sailor Red, contrasting the comic book Tuxedo Kamen to the samurai. "He's just one mortal," commented an UnSeelie who really should have known better. "What can he do?" "He's one mortal, all right," said a somewhat more clever UnSeelie who was readying a teleport spell. "Backed by faerie magic and carrying enough dwarven magic in those weapons and armor to outfit a proper hero. Tell you what, Jiro, why don't you hold 'em off while I go have a nip down at the pub, eh?" "He's got magical weapons?" The vast majority of the UnSeelie immediately proved why they were 11th and 10th Circle. "We can divvy 'em up among us when we pry 'em out of his cold dead fingers then, eh?" Stazing, Lord Of Crickets, proved why he was an UnSeelie of the 9th Circle and considered a promising young executive among the evil faerie. He left before the rain of slicing and dicing began. The katana had been perfected over ages, becoming one of the most effective sword designs ever to come out of a forge. Dwarven magic enhanced that design, binding runes of sharpness and durability. Faerie magic enhanced the arms that wielded the sword, increasing strength and speed. The wielder was a very skilled swordsman to begin with. The crowd oohed and aahed as pieces of monster were filletted in midair. Some "youma" were cut in half, or quarters, or into numerous tiny slices as Samurai Mask passed by. One unlucky crablike fellow found a Japanese waka had been enscribed onto his shell. Numbers were beginning to tell, as the tide of UnSeelie moved to surround the samurai. One of those in front kept firing poisonous spines, requiring the samurai's full attention to block them. Just as it appeared that the crowd of UnSeelie was about to overwhelm him, the Sailors returned to the fray. Sailor Rose pulled a rose out of her fuku top, quickly transmuting it to her dreaded rose-whip attack. Sailor White pulled a three-section-staff out of her sleeves, quickly beginning the process of enhancing it with chi. Sailor Red hefted a small car. The fight began again, but without some of the heavy-hitters on the UnSeelie side, the tide had turned again. ------------------- The evening news at "Ucchan's Cat Cafe" (the name of Ukyo's new place) was a traditionally slow time. Practically everyone at school had gone home for their dinners, the study groups had broken up, and the college crowd and salarymen were anxious to get to a place with a liquor license. Prior to that, there were study groups and hangers on. Later on, others would come by to get a late night snack. "They're at it again," Nabiki groaned as she watched the "Legion Of Substitute Senshi" posing and giving speeches about how they would defeat the next youma. "They've got some interesting attacks, but how can you take them seriously?" Ukyo shook her head. "I mean, really, how..." "And Ranma thought *his* attacks were lame." Nabiki pointed to the newsclip. "Pretty bad when your main attack is 'Cutesy Sparkle' or 'Love Rhapsody'. Highest power rating is four!" "Well, they're popular, more or less," offered Ukyo. "They get pounded into the ground on a regular basis. Heck, *my* power level is four just from the spells I've got memorized and I don't have any heavy-hitting spells." Nabiki groaned as Sailor Country whipped a gangster-type, only to have him bare his chest and start begging for more. "You, in your Sailor Valkyrie guise, show up as having a power rating of twelve hundred. Sailor Angel has a power rating of almost ten thousand, though so far her strongest Healing Escalation has only been nine hundred!" "What's Ranma-honey's power rating?" Nabiki made sure that Ranma wasn't present before replying. "One hundred twenty five." "Ouch," said Ukyo with a wince. "Oh, poor Ranma." Kasumi kept trying to think of Ranma as her little brother. Sometimes this was more difficult than at other times. It was safe, though. "Mind you, it's a focussed attack, sort of like using an armor-piercing bullet. Still..." Nabiki shrugged with a slight smile. "Where *is* Ranma-honey, anyway?" "Last I saw him, he was at the library trying to catch up with his homework." "He's listening to me," said Kasumi, pleasantly surprised by this revelation. Featherbrite flitted up from her bowl of pretzels, distrusting this sudden sense of wrongness. ----------------- Ranma sidestepped the guy who called himself Teppo, lashing out casually with enough force that the tough guy wannabe was kissing concrete a moment later. He counted to three, then kicked backwards, catching Tsubasa in the chin and knocking the crossdressing boy out. Dull. Boring. Predictable. Get up. Go to school. Study. The Parade Of Idiots. Homework. More idiots attacking. The occasional weird stuff that just seemed to get drawn to the presence of the fae. Occasionally the day would top out with either a youma or Rink & Pink. Except that sometimes Rink & Pink would attack in the morning. And sometimes Rink would disagree with Pink and the two of THEM would start fighting. Such as the time Pink had decided to try and turn him completely into a girl with one of those weird flower things. The LAST time Rink & Pink had attacked: they had started fighting him, switched to a youma that had wandered in, and Ranma had snuck off during the melee. A red rose slammed into the ground at Ranma's feet, the stem actually imbedding itself into the concrete. "Now we break evil Shampoo spell and gain revenge for years of humiliation! Over." "Now Ranma be Rink's husband for sure! Over." Ranma winced. Today was a Rink & Pink day, obviously. "Uh huh, what is it today, more poisonous roots?" Pink posed, finger raised to the heavens, from her position atop a parked taxi. "No, today we make sure you alone. You has no allies to come help you." Rink posed from the alleyway, using a sentai version of a crane stance. "Now WE has ally! Today is day Ranma be husband to Rink! Monster come forth!" A spider-youma clattered from behind Rink, pushing past her to look down on Ranma. It vomited a flowing river of spiderwebs. Ranma dodged, flipping back and over a car. Unfortunately landing in front of another little old lady watering her sidewalk, and this one used a high pressure hose. Dripping wet, Ranma looked at her opponents. Rink going to the left to cut off escape to the street. The youma coming forward. Ranma blinked and started looking for Pink. Something landed in Ranma's hair. ------------------ A troll-doll on a stick entered the "Ucchan's" giving a wide berth to the crossdresser cleverly disguised as a plastic Colonel Sanders. "Shampoo?" There was a note of uncertainty in the Elder's voice. "HIBA-CHAN!" Shampoo leapt across the room and hugged her great grandmother. Cologne tolerated the display of public affection while looking around the restaurant. Two customers slurping noodles warily looked back, wondering if there was going to be a floor show like there had been when a large potted plant had attempted to grope Ukyo. "So, this is your great-grandma, eh?" Ukyo whipped up an "Everything Under The Sun" okonomiyaki. "Oh my, so nice to meet you." Kasumi bowed, setting the tea service to the side for the moment. "So where's this Ranma fellow?" Cologne looked around, wondering where her future son-in-law (or at least ally) was. "Actually, it's pretty late. I wonder if he fell asleep at the library again." Nabiki pondered from where she was studying, then set aside her business journal to gather a few things in the back. Just in case. Everyone was catching up on introductions when a cry from Nabiki got their attentions. "He's WHERE?!" ------------------- Soun came wailing in to face Genma, tears running uncontrollably off to the sides. "Geez, Soun, you are *such* a weenie sometimes," observed Genma. Soun stopped crying, which was the effect Genma had been looking for. "Yes, Genma, and you're a reprehensible little turd, but that's beside the point. Look at what I found drying on the line outside!" "Very pretty, but it's just not you. I think winter or spring would fit better, that's more autumn." Soun twitched. "It's not MINE, Saotome. It's Sailor Red's seifuku! Do you know what that means?" "That we don't have a clothesdryer?" *WHAM!* Soun put the mallet away. "No, Saotome. TRY to think. I realize with your new drug habit that it might be a bit difficult, but try anyway." "Of course!" Genma chortled as he pulled himself up. He adjusted his glasses, hoping that it made him look more scholarly. It didn't. "When Sailor Red comes back for her clothes, we'll capture her and sell her secret identity to the Yakuza! Thereby getting me off the hook with them!" *WHAM! WHAM!* Soun sniffled and put away the hammer again. "It means my delicate, fragile, too easily hurt, not ready for such things, darling daughter Akane is Sailor Red. See, it's even got her name on it." Genma red the indicated tag inside the clothing. "If lost or stolen, please return to Akane Tendo, Tendo Dojo, Furin-ken, Ota-ku, Nerima Japan. AHH! Then if we sell Akane to the Yakuza..." *WHAM! WHAM! WHAMMITY WHAM!* "Truly Genma, you ARE an idiot. We'll try these again after your allergy pills have worn off." -------------------- Rink sulked. Pink screamed obsenities. Zed merely waited for the unpleasantries to subside. "What did you expect, we're villains. You tried to take Ranma, we just set you up in a jail cell. No problem." "This violate term of our agreement! Over." "So?" Zed looked curiously at the two. "Your point being?" "We break out of here no problem! Over." "Take another look out your window. Notice the lack of air?" Zed gestured towards the large picture window. "As I understand it is traditional for villains to use this sort of thing. Here you are in a locked room, surrounded by a complete lack of air and similar niceties, with a large window facing a wonderful view of the horizon. In a few days, the sun will come up and the temperature of this room will rise rather dramatically. "You're clever. You figure it out." ------------- "Excuse please." The big ugly humanoid paused long enough for Ranma to lift her feet, then swept underneath the area. "Thank you." "No problem," Ranma said, a little put out that they wouldn't let her help with things. "You look a bit busy." "Dust, dust everywhere. Very hard to keep clean." The ogre paused. "You nice person for prisoner." "Thank you," Ranma said with a blush, "you're very... uhm, nice for a kidnapper." "Not kidnapper. Me am maintenence worker with independent contract. Name is Crush. Me only work for kidnapper." "So," Ranma concluded unhappily, "I suppose that means you can't just let me go." "Sorry," Crush said with a tip of his baseball cap. "You nice person. Crush help, just promise you no give Crush trouble." "Sure, if you'll do something for *me.*" Ranma smiled sweetly at the big ogre. "Uhm, Crush, can you get me something to read? It's *awfully* boring here without anything to do." Crush thought for a few moments, scratching his low sloping brow. "Crush see book while cleaning. Will pretty lady like to read?" "That would be wonderful, Crush." Ranma giggled and sat back on her couch, wondering when the rescue party would arrive. ----------------------- "This is Megumi Noguchi right outside the 'Monmo Street Public Library' in Osaka. Witnesses report that the leader of the Senshi, the Faerie Princess herself, was seen being carted off by a youma and in the presence of these two vicious Chinese foreigners." Pictures of Rink & Pink were fed in by the network. "We were able to get this EXCLUSIVE interview with youma Dark General Zed!" Megumi turned to the very bishonen looking villain. "Dark General Zed, what are your plans regarding the Faerie Princess?" "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Zed laughed in fine anime villain tradition. He had researched his part well, and knew that this was his chance for a good old maniacal villain rant. "Now the Faerie Princess is captured and will be offered up to our Dark Lord, soon to usher in a new Age Of Darkness!" Megumi paused. "Uhm, could you be more specific about this? What exactly IS an Age Of Darkness?" "Good question, Megumi. Can I call you Megumi?" Zed had worked out this and wanted to sound properly villainous. "The Age Of Darkness will start with us removing such problems as crime and political advertising. We have monsters standing by who will take such problems off your hands, perhaps with a side order of fries or a nice salad. And once they've been eaten, you can be sure that your criminals will be no further burden to society. The same with ANY burden to the new society we're ready to install." "I see," said Megumi, several shades paler, "so with the Dark Kingdom, it's 'Do the crime, get eaten by a monster.' Oddly enough there is a certain attractiveness to this picture." Zed smiled, doing an illusion that gave him rows of pointy teeth. "We prefer phrases like 'Don't do your part, we'll eat your heart.' Simple and accurate. We're terribly misunderstood Megumi, we view Anarchy as a horrible thing and want a world where no one has to work a job they don't like. A perfect world where everyone has everything they need, all provided by your loving Dark Kingdom rulers. We really only want what's best for you." "I see," said Megumi, her hair having toinged out a few times during this last speech. "Well, then, let's get back to you, Kochiro!" Zed sniffed Megumi a couple of times. "My dear, have you unpaid traffic tickets?" "KOCHIRO!" Zipppp! There was a swirl of hair as the reporter decided to stick to interviewing the GOOD GUYS from now on. ------- Everyone at the Ucchan's Cat Cafe stared at the television. "HOW?!" Shampoo asked. Nabiki finished studying tea leaves. "Looks like Rink & Pink managed to tag him with one of those mind-altering flowers." "So, that beggers the question, where is he?" Nabiki shuffled tarot cards and cast a quick invocation. The cards laid themselves out into a Celtic Cross pattern. After studying them for a moment, Nabiki frowned. "I was hoping my early scrying was wrong. If this is RIGHT, Ranma's in girl form on the Moon." Silence briefly reigned in the Ucchan's. "So how we get to Moon?" ---------------- "They've got Ranma?" Ryoga KNEW who the Faerie Princess had to be. Shammi made a "muscle" gesture. "We go help?" Ryoga considered. Ranma was his rival. Someone he made a big show out of attacking and fighting, but on another very real sense, Ranma was also his friend. If not for Ranma, he wouldn't be cursed to turn into whatever he was nearest when the sun went down. If not for Ranma, he wouldn't have met Shammi and spent the last couple of weeks... "We go help?" Shammi repeated. This was her airen, so she could be submissive to him. Unless he got too male-stubborn and needed persuading to see that SHE was right. And as long as he was properly deferential to her in his turn, but so far she hadn't had any trouble with that. "Of course we go help," Ryoga answered as the sun went down and he shifted again to Shammi's twin. ----------------------- Next time on Featherbrite's Tale: How will Ranma escape being a prisoner on the Moon? Will Crunch ever get all that annoying moon dust out of the Princess' room? Will Ryoga and Shammi find the Ucchan's? The answers to these and other questions, same Brite-time, same Brite-channel! ========================== Featherbrite's Tale, chapter fourteen. "The Secrets Of Silver? Well, why not?" "Nama-byoho wa o-kega no moto." (Crude military tactics are the cause of severe casualties.) -ancient Japanese proverb "FUBAR, SNAFU." -military terms for the direct application of Murphy's Law Ranma (Faerie Princess) Saotome, Ukyo (Sailor Valkyrie) Kuonji, Kasumi (Sailor Angel) Tendo, Nabiki Tendo, Akane (Sailor Red) Tendo, Tatewaki (Samurai Mask) Kuno, Kodachi (Sailor Rose) Kuno, Shampoo (Sailor Amazon), Mousse, Hikaru Gosunkugi, Rink & Pink are copyright Rumiko Takahashi. Naoko Takeuchi, Sailorsuited warriors of love & justice, Moon Kingdom, and assorted concepts are copyright Naoko Takeuchi. ------------------------ Even in a warrior society there are those who are, well, just inept at the arts of combat. Those who have been raised on a lifetime of pillage, violence, and looting who just AREN'T satisfied with that life. It was true of the Vikings, it was true of the Nichieju, and it was true of the races of UnSeelie known collectively as the goblinkin. And so, in a citadel on the Moon, a certain Faerie Princess found herself surrounded by goblins, orcs, hobgoblins, and ogres that did not fit in anywhere else. "Can I get you more tea, miss?" The hobgoblin bared tusks in a smile. "Oh no, I'm fine thank you." Ranma smiled prettily at the goblinkin. "Fluff your pillow?" "Princess? We have acquired some *lovely* gowns. Oh, and this green would go just marvy with your hair." "Let me get these tangles out," one of the goblins tsked as he brushed Ranma's hair out, dislodging a certain flower. Ranma blinked as the feminine haze receded. "I'll just put this in some water," suggested the goblin, seeing Ranma's expression alter quite a bit. All the various creatures, save one, found something else to do. Losing a flower had caused the sweet and demure Princess to grow angry. Or maybe it had been putting up with Fauntleroy for the past three hours. Fauntleroy had been known to have that effect on people. The ogre looked over Ranma with a critical eye. "Are you OK, princess?" Ranma tried not to wince at THAT particular title. "Uhmmm. Yeah, I'll be fine. I just want to be alone for a bit." Ranma started checking around. There had to be a way to escape, though with no air outside her options were cut considerably. Maybe that book? Her eyes bugged as Ranma realized WHAT the book was about. --------- A yakyoma backed away, fear of what he faced being greater for the moment than his fear of his immediate supervisor. "Just grab a few little high school girls and recruit 'em to the Cause, oh yeah, that's NO problem," another yakyoma said in a voice heavy with sarcasm. "Get them, my minions, they are but two little girls!" Mountaincrest directed his flunkies towards the two seifuku clad girls protecting the rest. "YOU bloody get them!" The first yakuza+yoma replied, though all his fangs made communication a bit difficult. "That's not a cute little girl, THAT is five feet of slavering white hot female fury!" Akane dabbed delicately at her chin. She was NOT slavering! Oops. Well maybe she was a little. Hmmm. Having read some of those Sailor Moon manga, and as they weren't attacking, that meant this was time for a Heroic Pose & Speech(tm)! She pulled a slip of paper from a pocket, having the foresight to prepare this. "Ahem. Evil beings who seek to slake unnatural thirsts on innocent schoolgirls! Vile perversions of the natural order who bully the weak! Foul beings who have sold themselves to the darkness, I cannot forgive you!" Akane read from her script, heartened that the evil beings still weren't attacking, which meant she'd guessed right and this was the proper time for speeches. "Sailor Red, what you do?" Sailor White wanted to know. "It's in genre. Ahem. I, Aka... Sailor Red, the High School Babe, stand before you to end your villainy! In the name of Justice and L-l-l-love, I'll punish you!" Akane went into stance, one arm lifted as if to beseech the Heavens, while the other was chambered for her Wrecking Ball Punch. "Huh? Where'd they go?" Sailor White sighed. "They failed a Morale Check, obviously." ~Or made an Intelligence Check.~ "Oh..." Akane shrugged after a moment. "Well darn. So where's Takeuchi- san?" "On the train, Sailor Rose is staying with her." Sailor White looked around, ignoring the nonwarrior schoolgirls still huddled behind them. "We catch next one." ------ Nabiki finished another set of wards around the restaurant and was pleasantly surprised when a wandering mailbox passed the door without seeming to find it. Ukyo flipped another okonomiyaki to a customer, Shampoo waited tables, and Kasumi was dealing with a homework crunch. Nothing to indicate to an enemy that the forces were gathering for a massive assault on the moon. Nope, just a normal group of schoolgirls just trying to cope with everyday life. Nabiki considered the three walls of defense about her new home with a critical eye and a certain degree of pride. An anti-evil warding was just powerful enough that those with ill intentions towards the inhabitants tended to avoid the doors and windows, the effect being along the lines of "these aren't the droids you're looking for." Within the restaurant area itself, Nabiki had placed a "you don't notice anything unusual" spell. While not very strong, it would tend to cause people to dismiss strange things happening or being discussed. Outside THAT but inside the anti-evil ward, was an eavesdropping shield. If someone tried, they'd hear was Ukyo singing karaoke. After she'd been hitting the sake. A song about love letters written in okonomiyaki. Badly. It should be enough to dissuade the more common surveillance. At least Nabiki hoped so. ---------- Ranma studied the fiery letters, glad now that her time with Featherbrite had taught her to read magic and speed read with comprehension. This last had become necessary with his father's insistence on everything relating to martial arts. Time studying or doing homework was not as valuable as time in sparring. Sparring before breakfast, martial arts eating, more serious training, and so on. Hence the creation of the "Martial Arts Cramming Technique: Read Speeding!" Emotions were useful in chi, but also in the manna based systems of this Silver Millenium thing and (from earlier lessons) in Faerie magic. Intensity of emotion wasn't a substitute for discipline or knowledge, but could lend quite an oomph, and if all other things were equal the one with the more intense emotion could channel the most energy. Which explained the Silver and Dark Millenium crystals to some extent. Opposite ends of the same spectrum. Ranma continued to read, knowing that SOMEHOW this would all come in handy someday. She took a moment to douse herself with water from the teapot, just in case the jailers didn't know of the transformation and he could escape where the sylph could not. ------------ Naoko Takeuchi was her name, and she was a simple manga artist, formerly a pharmacist but manga artist not only paid well but filled a void in herself that her previous job hadn't. Of course, nobody had told her that using her talents to create a series called "Sailor Moon" would eventually lead to a sequel series dealing with a war of three kingdoms. Nor would she personally be faced with Dark Kingdom Yakuza thugs, transforming ersatz Senshi inspired by her own stories, running battles with tentacled monsters, pixie sidekicks, or superpowered fangirls. Nor had she any warning that she would end up leaving abruptly one afternoon to go meet a bunch of superpowered teenage girls in Osaka and discuss rescuing a princess from a prison that somehow seemed modelled on her first series. By following an invisible (to most) pixie onto a train to stay one step ahead of violent yomakuza... or yomayaks or any number of other terms for monstrous beings that used to be low level criminals. Nope. Uh uh. She had NEVER seen this coming. During an idle moment, she wondered if Tezuka or Miyazaki had days like this. Did Miyazaki-kun get called to a deep dark forest to confer with camphor tree-spirits? Had secret government agent cyborgs ever consulted with Tezuka? Had Fujishima-san met police officers such as in his series? Did Monkey Punch personally know international thieves and adventurers? Were there actually aliens and espers and ninjas (or even alien esper ninjas) walking the streets? That fellow over there reading a newspaper, was he a sarariman on lunch or was he a yoma? He could even be a sailorsuited warrior of love or justice... well maybe not that. He could be some cyborg guardian from the afterlife in disguise. Or maybe, Naoko considered, she needed to switch to decaf. Life had been getting pretty stressed lately. ----------- There was no Typhon, Godzilla, or similar elemental juggernaut for the UnSeelie to call in that world. Therefore, in the tradition of the sentai genre, there were the choices of summoning one or making one. A massive infusion of pure Faerie magic tended to have bizarre effects even without someone intending them. When the intent *was* to do something bizarre, it could get pretty off the wall. Unfortunately for Zed, said massive infusion of pure Faerie had a tendency to go where it wanted, and tended to be shaped by the receptacle to some extent. Which is why the first such attempt ended up with 90 foot long laser cannon-tailed giant scorpion in Iraq. Which, while amusing to the UnSeelie Court, was in entirely the wrong area to do more than reveal how skilled the Iraqi military was in fighting bulletproof giant insects. The second attempt turned out even worse, though it *also* was deemed quite amusing by the UnSeelie. With Montreal under siege by giant pink rabbits (each becoming two more when one was killed), the amount of chaos was quite high. The third time wasn't quite the charm, and Zed decided to call it a day after that. True, the giant snow dragon had looked quite impressive at start. It had made quite a mess in Norway. Then it had moved south and had not fared well in warmer climes. Not fared well at all. In the meantime, this had an effect that was extremely beneficial to Ranma and the rest of the so-called heroes. The attention of the UnSeelie was upon these other events and the way these mortals scrambled to cope with the whole thing. Which meant that the plans of various psuedo-Senshi and their allies were not being monitored at the moment. Which meant that most of the effort Nabiki was putting into Eavesdropping Wards was wasted. But then, Akane was not the only person capable of making mistakes. ---------- Eyecatch: Nabiki lays out a line of Tarot cards, one flips up to reveal: Junon (High Priestess) Kasumi raising a wooden cup heavenwards, translucent gold angel's wings extending behind her. Series logo appears in lower right corner. ----------- Featherbrite considered the possibilities. Her friend Ranma was in trouble. There were some serious difficulties in getting to the moon. In order to do it by Faerie Magic normally, one would go to Faerie and then to a weak point that corresponded to the moon. Several problems with this: the UnSeelie would be waiting for them, the absolute *right* weakpoint was necessary as Featherbrite was a wind pixie and therefore needed air, going by human methods required a couple of weeks enclosed by *metal*! The Seelie Court had a lot of members with powers far below those of the UnSeelie. There were a *few* members of the Seelie who were sufficient that they could stand against almost any of the UnSeelie. Problem: based on prior experience it would take weeks for her to get an audience with any of THEM. There were those who were not of the Seelie OR the UnSeelie, beings of vast power who at least considered mortal concepts of good or evil to be of little import. Getting their ear would be difficult, their assistance nearly impossible, just avoiding being swatted out of hand would be something Featherbrite would consider an accomplishment. There was the Queen herself, but Featherbrite knew the odds on being able to get HER to take notice of an insignificant little pixie. Featherbrite had turned and twisted and thought this over and could only come up with one solution. "Cast an illusion on all of us so that we look like yakyoma and infiltrate their base?" Nabiki sounded out the concept with a frown. "It'd never work." "Hmmmph," Featherbrite stuck her tongue out at the sorceress. "I could do it!" "Wrong! I can scan for disguise spells *really* easy. There's a ward on the door that'd find anything you or I can put together, in fact." Nabiki glanced up from her cards briefly. "Patience. Our forces gather. Ranma-sama's all right and we'll find a solution for the problems yet." Featherbrite took a moment to mouth the phrase "Ranma-sama" and wonder if this had any special significance. ------------- Nabiki watched the little pixie flit off and exhaled. This was it. Her big decision time. She'd been overjoyed to learn that a fiance would be arriving. The boys of Furinkan had been solely interested in little sister, nobody had paid any interest to her or (from talks with her big sister) Kasumi when *she* was in high school. There were certain "buttons" that would have gotten her immediately to reject him, to forever put him in the pile of "testosterone driven morons that she would use for her own financial gain" if not earn her outright contempt. Ranma hadn't done that. Come close a few times, particularly when he seemed to flirt with either Kasumi or Shampoo, but had never actually done so. Nabiki had, instead, been forced to look at her own life and hadn't been too thrilled with what she had seen. She could take pride in her accomplishments, keeping money coming into the dojo, making money for her own little spending sprees, and proving again and again her intellectual superiority to the best Furinkan Senior High School had to offer. The ends, yes, the means- no. It had started out small, and only now had she come to realize how much contempt she had built up for nearly everyone. If Ranma *had* been just a jock, Nabiki could sadly see how she might have withdrawn further into the soulless mercenary role. The problem, as she had discovered, was that not only was Furinkan a little pond, but she was only floating along the surface and crowing that she was number one. She could still do it, though, travel the same path using what she'd learned. Using her new skills in divination and protective magic, she could become a corporate raider that would cause CEOs the world over to quake in their dress shoes. The name of Nabiki Tendo would gut the Nissei stock value of a company, investors digging foxholes at even a suggestion that she was looking at their properties. That was the "shark" option. Kill or be killed. Be the nastiest, baddest, hungriest, predator in the ocean. No quarter asked or given. No friends, no one you could trust, no one you could... love. You'd be feared and have great power, but you could never never let your guard down. Then there was the *other* path. The one she hadn't seen until her unasked for, crazy, chaos bringing, fiance had walked into her life and chosen... her. Not Akane. Not the popular sister. Her, Nabiki Tendo, who he had referred to as complex and interesting. And later referred to as cute. Cute! Her! The loan shark, the feared Nabiki Tendo, Ice Queen! Cute? Stupid Ranma, if he were here right now, she'd... Nabiki smiled wistfully. If Ranma had walked in that door right at that moment, he'd have been swept off his feet and had his hands full of a seventeen year old emotional wreck and likely she'd not have let go for quite a long time. And, through the opportunities Ranma had presented, Nabiki could now consider being a "dolphin" instead. Instead of pursuing yen over everything else, there was another option available. She could swim with the sharks, yet not *be* a shark herself. She could be someone who could be a trusted friend, she could find love and laughter and warm embraces on cool nights, she could be playful and appreciated, the sort of person that her big sister would be proud of, her mother could smile at from whatever lay beyond the grave (having seen faeries and vampires, Nabiki was not as willing to dismiss an afterlife as a myth as she would once have been) and that could grow old and comfortable with her husband-to-be. Nabiki blinked, then laughed out loud, startling Kasumi where she was studying a textbook. "Something amusing, Nabiki?" Kasumi smiled, it was good to see Nabiki relax after being so tense. In fact, Kasumi realized she hadn't seen Nabiki look so relaxed and openly amused in years. "Here I've been trying to work out this decision logically," Nabiki said, shaking her head. "And I just realized that I've already made it." "Decision, Nabiki?" Kasumi wasn't sure what her sister meant. Was it regarding her engagement? "Dolphin, oneechan, definitely 'dolphin'." Nabiki gathered her cards up and continued to chuckle. Kasumi smiled and wondered just what Nabiki was talking about. -------- Cologne sat back and watched the comings and goings and was amused. An Epic Quest. She hadn't seen many of those lately. The last time *she* had taken part in one, well she'd been a young girl looking to vent after a boy she'd cared about had proven to be a thief and a lecher and less than an ideal candidate. Now she looked over the various participants in this drama and was glad she'd made it to her advanced age. This was interesting enough to liven an old woman's days. And these Japanese soap operas were proving addictive too. She had slipped into the role of 'Friendly If Somewhat Irascible Old Mentor' quickly. Shampoo had always been largely friendless, and watching her chatting and being companionable with that older girl was quite pleasant. And this Kasumi was talking about becoming a Nurse, though there seemed to be some hesitation as she was interested in several other fields as well. Cologne approved. If Shampoo took Kasumi as a bond-sister, then Kasumi would be an Amazon through that bond. And another Healer, one well versed in more modern medicine, even if she stayed in Japan most of the time, was something that could benefit the village quite well. Besides, there was something quite likable about Kasumi Tendo. Kasumi's sister Nabiki was a mage-in-training. Another valuable commodity, though a brief conversation had revealed that she would be unlikely to be interested in spending a lot of time in the village. Nabiki quite obviously (to Cologne at least) loved Ranma, though she spent a lot of time saying she just liked him and it was all just a temporary arrangement and she hadn't chosen to be engaged to the boy. Cologne thought it likely that if she was careful, assisted this group, and didn't push too hard, the Mage would likely to be favorably inclined towards her and the village. Meaning that having another spellcaster allied to them, coming to the village's defense in times of need, and perhaps even an Amazon apprentice down the road were all distinct possibilities. Ukyo Kuonji was confused, uncertain, and changed her mind on a regular basis. Cologne could understand this, and was already working on gaining the girl's trust. Ukyo's main reason for existence had just been cut out from under her, and she was still working at coming up with a self-image and mindset that didn't revolve around Vengeance Against Ranma. Ukyo had been *so* dedicated to that goal that she was trying to find some satisfactory substitute and failing. Ukyo could see how interested Nabiki was in Ranma, and Ranma seemed a little extra friendly to Nabiki, but Ukyo clearly wasn't completely sure about their relationship. No doubt if Ranma and Nabiki had gotten into a serious fight, she would have dedicated herself to Winning Ranma as she had been to Punishing Ranma. As it was, Cologne thought it likely that the girl would eventually become the Childhood Friend. Her fighting and cooking skills were narrowly focussed but sufficient that adoption into the Tribe was a possibility. The Old Ones, or faerie, were interesting but a bit childish. Pretty much as she had expected. Shampoo was more open, happier, and less prideful than she'd been upon embarking on this journey. She was also thinking ahead more. All traits that Cologne was happy to see in her Heir. The ability to cooperate with others was *necessary* in an Elder, and if Shampoo could have an easier time learning that lesson than Cologne had had, then more power to her. Cologne sat back and watched the drama playing out, wishing she had a camcorder so she'd be able to play this back later. Human drama at its most basic. Hmmm. It was time for her soaps. ---------- Rink spat moondust out of her mouth. Pink glared up at her sister, wiped the spit off, and momentarily stopped digging. "Sorry," offered Rink. "Over." Pink merely jabbed with her trowel, and was rewarded with a clinking noise. "We're saved!" Rink and Pink exclaimed. "Over." "We made it." Pink leaned forward to scoot dirt away from the section of wall. "Now we can get fresh air. Water. Food. Over." "Less talk more dig. Or we *be* over. Over." --------- Ranma flipped over another page, committing the contents to memory. Emotion as power? This might apply to chi, in which case... Putting his hands together, Ranma started doing what the book suggested as possible- focussing one's chi through an emotion that the wielder felt strongly. A hateful person would use hate, a kind and loving person might use love, a depressed person would focus that depression. It had to be an emotion you wanted to feel though, as there was a paragraph indicating that there was feedback. The more one used an emotion as a weapon in this manner, the more it would tend to dominate their destiny. Ranma looked deep within himself, looking for a suitable feeling. He didn't find anything, except some degree of nervousness. For the first time in years, he was completely on his own. Emotion. Feedback. Ranma nodded, sitting back and thinking more about this. It made some degree of sense. He'd read an article on research into Artifical Intelligence (Featherbrite had been interested as she thought it sounded like something some dwarven artificier of her acquaintance would value) and it had talked about feedback loops as being some measure of sanity and intelligence development. Same basic principle. If he used depression (being essentially in prison it would be easy to be depressed about it), then he would become more and more depressed and prone to fits of bleak bone-crushing angst. Likewise confidence could be used, but eventually he might become some sort of egomaniac if he did that. So, what was strong enough to use as a focussing/empowering emotion, yet wouldn't be terribly horrible if he had a lot of it in his life? Love? Ranma pondered. Certainly it was one of the stronger emotions. Hate, fear, and similar things were among the strongest emotions, and it was one of those listed in the text. Apparently this Silver Crystal, if it actually existed, was pretty much an Artifact of Love. Drawing on the life energy of the wielder and the emotion of love in order to essentially grant a wish at its most powerful levels- though as life energy was finite it would be easy for the wielder to overextend himself and die trying to do too much. If this book was for real, and Ranma had his doubts despite it sounding like some of the things he'd heard about chi training, then using chi for something other than breaking boulders and leaping rooftops was possible. He already used chi for faster healing and recovery, to give his kicks and punches more "oomph", to increase his strength and stamina. It was natural, instinctive after his years of training. This... was definitely a next step. Love? Who did he love? Ranma thought for a moment. Lots of people, actually. One of the things Featherbrite had taught him years ago had been that humans tended to be individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses, and that a lot of them just did the best they could as they understood it. Nabiki, who'd gradually overcome her panic about him and become genuinely friendly. Kasumi, who had thrown away the life she had known in order to grasp a new one and stand up for what she thought of as right. Akane, who had sought to protect her family the only way she knew how. Ucchan, his childhood friend now trying to feel her way into a new role. Shampoo, the fierce barbarian who tried to put on a happy face and remain bubbly despite the fears gnawing away underneath. Featherbrite, whose mental architecture was sufficiently different that even flitting around the outskirts of human society for hundreds of years hadn't allowed her to really understand them. Hate, fear, anger, these were *not* him, and Ranma rejected them. Love was less certain, and Ranma could admit to himself at least that he wasn't too sure what love was. But it seemed a good place to start. -------- i know, i was going to write more in this chapter, but... i decided to stop here so that the rescue/meeting of the various characters, escape, etc. would all be in chapter 15 instead of strewn over more chapters... besides, i thought Ranma's introspection there was a good breaking off point, ne? Yeah, i know, it ain't canon. (shrug) it ain't intended to be, either. so chapter 15 things start heading towards Gantlet and the resolution... TTFN gregg