Oh, Pooh! by Gregg Sharp ===== ok, this is a weird one. i was mentioning to Bruce the bit about Genma=Pooh, and he thought that was funny but not really appropriate for Genma. Still, we started throwing ideas about... we both thought that Ryouga made a perfect "Eeyore" and as result this just had to be written. insert standard disclaimer. i don't own these characters, etc, etc. this is just written to be amusing, no higher meanings, just a one-shot brief look at a possible alterniverse where things are _really_ screwed up ====================== an unserious brief snicker by metroanime@mindspring.com http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/ ====================== "" Ryouga pointed at himself. "I'm sorry, I don't speak Chinese." "" "Uhm," Ryouga said as the fellows directed him to the driver's seat of the bus. "Errr. I have to go catch Ranma Saotome for missing our duel. And I don't know how to drive." "" Ryouga frowned and looked up as someone stepped nearby. Only to come to a slack-jawed halt as he stared up into the face of the gorgeous gaijin in front of him. "Aw, come on, honey, let's get this show on the road!" His mind a pleasant daze from watching the way the girl's body bounced, Ryouga didn't even realize that he was driving the bus until they were three miles down the road. The real bus driver, passed out with a bottle in his arms, didn't notice. That Ryouga had a chance to be reunited with his father was completely missed. That the tour bus wasn't even supposed to be in China was likewise unknown to Ryouga, but it turned up enough that the gas station was kind of used to it by now. -------------------- The Jusenkyo Guide came out of his hut and wondered how the heck someone had gotten a tour bus here. This was Jusenkyo, after all, in the Bayankala mountain range. Steep mountains, torturous narrow paths with sudden drop offs, rope bridges over otherwise impassable ravines. The Guide shrugged. "" The group forming in front of the bus looked like a truly mixed lot. Foreign tourists from their clothes and appearance, most of them. Americans in their motley clothing, Japanese wearing western clothing with nonsense English slogans and festooned with cameras, Arabics wearing hooded robes and with the women veiled, even a pair of mufti-wearing Africans. And about thirty kids carrying various stuffed animals. "Never have such diverse group come to Jusenkyo," admitted the Guide in a soft voice. He continued in a louder voice, using Japanese (poor), English (even worse) a moment later, and following up with French (don't ask) in the off hope that at least one common language could be used. Fortunately the "California" looking girl seemed to be able to translate for the others. Things were going well, with cameras clicking and the muted buzz of whispered translations as the Guide began explaining the Cursed Springs. Of course, things could not continue this way. It all started with one little girl dropping her stuffed donkey into a spring and Ryouga reaching in to grab it. --------------MUCH LATER------------ "You looked at me in the nude, you... PERVERT!" The short individual looked back at Akane. "And your point is?" Akane's eyes narrowed. "What did you say? Are you trying to imply that you didn't see anything?" Ranma guffawed. "I saw everything that was there. I just don't see what you're making the big fuss about. I didn't see anything particularly interesting, just you coming in without clothes. So what was the big deal?" Akane turned pale, then (as if a tide had reversed) turned scarlet. "You... you... you..." The table came up as Ranma turned his head, ignoring the angry girl. The table came slamming down. It seemed to momentarily flatten Ranma before a massive recoil took place. The table shot into the next room, dragging Akane along behind it. The sound of a massive impact and a startled yelp came simultaneously. Fortunately it was off-camera so as not to offend anyone. "Well, that she had coming," suggested Nabiki. "Ranma, could you do your song again to remind dear sister why a shot to the head isn't effective?" "Deeee-lighted, Nabiki-chan!" Ranma gave a somewhat idiotic grin back to Nabiki, and even bounced around the yard and dining room in time to his song. Kasumi and Nabiki were amused, Soun and Genma made a pledge to get roaringly drunk later. Akane sulked. "The wonderful thing about Ranmas Is Ranmas are wonderful things Their tops are made out of rubber The bottoms are made out of springs They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun But the most wonderful thing about Ranmas is I'm the only one The wonderful thing about Ranmas Is Ranmas are wonderful chaps They're loaded with vim and vigor They love to leap in your laps They're jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun But the most wonderful thing about Ranmas is I'm the only one Ranmas are cuddly fellows Ranmas are awfully sweet Everyone else is jealous That's why I repeat The wonderful thing about Ranmas Is Ranmas are wonderful things Their tops are made out of rubber Their bottoms are made out of springs They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun But the most wonderful thing about Ranmas is I'm the only one IIIIIII'mmmmmm the only one!" Akane was grateful for that at least. ========================= and yes, the tour bus stopped at a few strange places where the passengers picked up souveneirs. Genma > Daffy Duck Ryouga > Eeyore Ranma > Tigger, get him drunk and it's rum-tum-tigger nasty terrible horrible shortfic. yes, it's meant to be silly. no, it is not meant to be taken seriously though if a statue could lead to Rouge's curse then a stuffed Pooh bear could result in... a terrible tragic story, ne? ja ne, gregg i'll prob put out one more shortfic using the Ryouga Tour Bus simply because the concept is too bizarre and amusing not to use it at least once more... -- ============================================= http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/ metroanime@mindspring.com "still searching, still dreaming, still alone." -N.Brazil, "Midnight at the Well of Souls"