Astrild's Restaurant 

Part 3

The Chaos Before The Storm 

or 

The Sapphire Bet, Three 

by Jared Ornstead 

=====

    I was going to continue this to almost twice it's current length, 
and then I thought Why Bother? I've got people who want it now and I'm 
at a *perfect* stopping point, and I can carry on all of the events 
I've planned and not yet written in another segment later. 

=====

    Ranma came flying out of the house trailed by his wives. When the 
girls came out, they found their attention diverted by the humongous 
wall. On their way up out of the restaurant their attention had 
obviously been diverted with weighty things, but now paying some 
attention to their environment they had to wonder. 
    "Where did this wall come from?" Ukyo asked. 
    Nabiki crossed over to it. Even here, on the upper terrace, with 
the ground level higher than the wall's other face, it was more than 
she could do to touch the wall's top with a stick. 
    Shampoo bounded effortlessly to the peak of the edifice, glancing 
around and informing her sister wives. "Is new fortification. Dirt all 
churned up from building, Shampoo say all happen today, maybe in last 
hour. Shampoo also see many gates in lower wall, few in upper. Gates 
bound by iron fences made to look like roses." 
    Kasumi glanced over her shoulder. Ranma flew to their left, having 
completed a quick circuit of the outer wall and found nothing. He was 
now involved in some obscure function about their inner wall. Or at 
least Shampoo said there were two. 
    Nabiki took a look around. "You say there are gates in this?" 
    The amazon jumped down. "Come. Shampoo show nasty..." She paused 
both in her rush and in thought, addressing Nabiki. "Can no call nasty, 
extortionist girl anymore, can Shampoo?" 
    Kasumi and Nabiki both shook their heads. Ukyo touched her chin in 
thought. "Well, I guess we're not really rivals anymore, are we?" The 
brown haired girl shook her ponytailed head. "This is going to take 
some getting used to." 
    The eldest of the two Tendo daughters found enough bravery to 
suggest. "Ukyo, about the way you dress..." 
    Ukyo had no more time for a questioning "Hmm?" before Shampoo, 
restrained no longer, rushed off to show them the gate and they had to 
follow. When they arrived there they *all* had to pause and wonder. 
    The gate itself was a high archway, high enough for even a tall man 
wearing a tall hat to pass through without stooping. A pair of wrought 
iron grills served as double doors to close this off, and the 
workmanship was extremely fine. 
    Kasumi's eye's came alight in wonder, and she reached out to touch 
the trellis, for that was what it was made to look like. Nabiki was 
considering value, and found herself without comparison. Ukyo and 
Shampoo just stood there rapt in awe. 
    Each one of the double doors was made in a fashion that exactly 
imitated rose vines growing over a carefully tended trellis. There were 
blossoms and leaves and thorns as well as vines and iron done in 
precise imitation of the wooden frame over which they grew. The whole 
work was awesome in its detail, from blushing buds and new leaves to 
the sagging weight of old. Save for color and stillness alone, they 
might actually be looking at rose vines on a wooden frame. 
    They half expected the wind to blow the leaves. 
    Ukyo reached out to test a thorn, withdrawing her finger at the 
touch. "Well, nobody's going to be climbing *that* soon." 
    The others started at her remark, in the beauty of the thing having 
lost touch with it's purpose, which was to keep intruders out. 
Speculating on this thought, however, revealed the accuracy of the 
remark. Iron leaves and roses, completed with spikes and thorns; it was 
as hostile to an intrepid climber as a solid bed of spikes. Nobody, 
with even half the wits the Creator gave man, would even try. 
    Nabiki took hold of a properly situated bulb and pushed the gate 
lightly. It opened soundlessly, the bulb serving as a knob. "Come on, 
it's not locked." 
    The young women trouped through, finding on the other side a split 
staircase, going down to either side in a sweeping fashion that 
elegantly hung close to the wall. Ukyo again pointed out how effective 
it was, as from the lower side the gate appeared halfway up the wall 
and no vehicle could navigate the steps. Even motorcycles would find 
them steep and narrow. 
    Kasumi was doubtful of the whole thought of turning their house 
into a fortress, yet none of the other girls could agree with her. 
Nabiki even pointed out a need. "Look Kasumi, Ranma's a hotshot martial 
artist, but he's *our* hotshot martial artist. It may be one thing for 
him to keep getting attacked in the middle of the night by 
revenge-crazed rivals when he's alone. But what about when *we're* with 
him?" 
    Kasumi got very quiet and thought about that. 
    Her birth sister threw weight onto the idea, adding in her way a 
conclusion. "*I'd* rather not wake up at 3 AM to find Ryoga's fist come 
crashing toward my face because he mistook my husband and I in the 
dark." 
    The other two girls agreed heartily. 
    Kasumi drew in upon herself to consider the implications of this. 
    Above them, Ranma had completed the warding/detection circuit he'd 
put off earlier (thinking he'd have plenty of time). Air rippled all 
around as invisibilities and other deceptive magics were canceled. 
    In seconds he'd found what he was looking for. "Aha! There it is!" 
Ranma pointed with the crystal in the end of his staff. "Divine 
Thunderbolt!" 
    The platypus who'd set off the warding circle by trying to cross 
it, blacking itself out in the process, recovered its senses just as a 
pencil-thin beam of light with helixes of lightning wrapped around the 
shaft slammed into his chest. The resulting blast produced an outward 
push of air that sounded like a thunderclap heard from the front row. 
    The seven-inch, purple thing flew out of it, not unhurt, but not 
severely injured either. Ranma fell back beyond the boundary of the 
wall and the platypus' charge met with a crackling wall of magic that 
appeared when it tried to cross, rebounding the creature and once again 
stunning it. 
    Ranma didn't bother to call out an attack phrase, but out of his 
staff's end flew several globes of whitish green energy. They passed 
through the little platypus without leaving a mark, but when the globes 
hit the street they dissolved huge craters into the road. 
    Shaking itself, the demon drew a golden, glowing symbol in the air 
facing Ranma, and seemed as surprised as the mage when that symbol 
turned out to be a large, glowing happy face. 
    This time Ranma blasted it with a washing jetstream of visibly 
crackling fire. No effect. 
    "Shoo." Kasumi waved her skirts at the creature 
    To everyone's surprise, the creature shrieked and twisted, writhing 
in agony as blue gas escaped from its every pore. Seconds later it had 
dissolved and was gone. 
    Everyone stood staring at Kasumi. 
    "I would never have believed it." Ranma stood stunned. 
    "Yah, it kind of surprised me too, sugar." 
    "Womans of Amazon village have legends of this." The buxom one 
shook her purple crowned head. "But Shampoo never expect to see." 
    "Legends?" practically everyone turned to regard the Amazon in 
their midst. 
    Shampoo nodded. "Yes, legends say one who is pure has power to 
destroy demons." Her lips formed a pout. "But purity so high few can 
achieve. Centuries since last time anyone in village try. Weapons more 
reliable." 
    Ranma negated that thought. "Not against THAT kind. Someone had 
summoned a very powerful critter, then imbued it with extra 
enchantments to make it practically immune to hostile magic. Who would 
be stupid enough to summon something like that in the middle of a 
population center?" Ranma wondered aloud as he allowed himself to float 
at sitting level. He touched down just as his wives came running up. 
    "Ranchan, what was it?" Ukyo felt it important to know. 
    "Something very dangerous." Ranma answered, brushing off the 
sleeves of his robe. "Fortunately, it got slain. Also fortunately, my 
wards held against it. But whoever sent that thing is certain enough of 
his own control not to fear making something that vile practically 
invulnerable to offensive magic. I didn't think there were many, or 
*any*, magi in this area. I certainly don't know why one would hate me 
so badly. I just moved here, after all." 
    "Excuse me, Ranma. Where did these walls come from?" Kasumi was the 
first to change the subject and ask what they'd all been wondering, 
staring at the edifices they couldn't possibly miss. 
    "Mm? Oh. Sorry, I built these while you girls first went inside. 
Mages live or die by their caution, and I like to have a good barrier 
spell in effect anywhere I relax for a while, for times like now when 
an attack came with no warning whatsoever." He shook his head again, 
asking himself. "Who would summon a demon *that* powerful in the middle 
of a city?" 
    Nabiki couldn't and did not want to deal with that subject. Demons 
had always been Ranma's department and she was happy to leave it that 
way. Instead, she put a hand on the wall. "No mortar? Husband dear, I 
don't know much about building walls but I know you have to stick them 
together somehow." 
    Ranma, smiling, came close and ran his hand along some 
thinner-than-hairline seams. "In building anything you have two basic 
choices, Nabiki; cheap and expedient or costly and careful. If I had 
used bricks, certainly, mortar would have been necessary. Just because 
you need something to even out the imperfections in their surface so 
that their weight rests evenly. These are multi-ton blocks. When using 
stones of this size mortar is unnecessary, even undesirable. Mortar 
isn't enough to even rough surfaces on anything this heavy. You just 
have to cut the blocks more smoothly, and these are cut interlocking 
like puzzle pieces for added strength and security. With this wall it 
is the maker's skill that holds them together. I'll throw on a few 
cosmetic spells and it'll look this good in a thousand years. But it'll 
be standing even if I don't." 
    Ukyo leaned against the wall. "Wow. Say, what happens if..." she 
waved her hand vaguely. "You know. What happens if another wizard tries 
to knock it down? You know, cancel your spells or something." 
    Ranma took a seat on a log. "We are dealing with two very different 
kinds of effects. First, the one you're thinking of, is... well, let me 
give you an example." He reached into his suddenly-convenient (it 
typically lurked nearby against this sort of need) bag and removed a 
goblet and a loaf of homemade bread. He held the goblet in the air and 
left it there, where it stayed. 
    "This is the kind of effect you've been thinking of. There is a 
spell holding this cup in the air. I dispel it..." The cup fell and he 
caught it in his palm, then returned it to his bag. Then he held out 
the loaf of bread while it began to slice itself. When he had a few 
slices floating next to him he took hold of one and bit it, waving the 
shortened loaf at his audience. 
    "I've used magic to cut bread. The effect was magical, but it 
lasted only a short while. Magic changed something, but once changed it 
stays that way without any magical help. Here there is nothing to 
dispel." He waved a hand at the floating slices and they fell into his 
lap, but did not rejoin the loaf. 
    Kasumi sat at her husband's feet and smoothed her skirts, listening 
while she took his feet and rubbed them in her lap, having removed his 
boots to do so. He had to pause to stare at her in astonishment, but 
she met his eyes with a smile and bent back to her task, seeming quite 
pleased to do it. 
    Kasumi spoke softly. "Nabiki, would you get our husband's 
shoulders, please?" 
    Everybody looked on in wonderment at Kasumi's change. Nabiki stood 
for a minute before blinking. "Sure." 
    Ranma chalked it up as something to ask her later. 
    He met the looks of his wives, returning to his topic. "There are 
lots of things you can do either way. I typically do the latter when I 
can. It's a bit more effort, but if I conjure food and eat it, I'd 
rather not find myself on the brink of starvation, or dead, when next 
somebody casts a form of dispelling at me. It happens fairly often, 
people trying to take advantage of careless mages. It does not speak 
well of my profession that much of the time it works." 
    His eyes closed and he sighed as Nabiki got a neglected sore spot 
above his collarbone. He sat, sighing a moment, as a dreamy look 
crossed his face. Ukyo bent and swept up a rock, chipping at it idly 
with the corner of a throwing spatula as they waited for Ranma's mental 
faculties to come back online. 
    He sighed again and sat a little straighter, his toes giving out 
pleasure signals that caused him to adopt a far away half-lidded look 
to his eyes. "There is a third kind of effect. That of a continuing 
spell bound to a thing in such a way that it is impossible to casually 
remove. My curse would be a good example of that, a magic weapon would 
be another. In either case alot of energy went into making the magic 
self-sustaining, sometimes even more effort than the original spell 
required to cast." 
    Kasumi proved herself a good foot masseuse and his eyes 
involuntarily closed, but he did not stop his instruction. "You could 
compare these three effects to devices with which you're all familiar. 
In the first case a dispel would be unplugging an electric clock; 
fairly easy to do and stops it from telling time until replugged and 
reset, or recast in the case of a spell. The second is like a sundial, 
there is nothing to unplug. Unless you physically destroy it or do 
something to alter it, it keeps functioning because that is its natural 
state. The third kind would be well considered a watch with batteries 
and a solar cell. Some fairly intricate things are required to stop 
that watch from functioning without damaging it. Destroying it is *far* 
easier. But at least in my case I don't feel like being destroyed just 
so I won't turn into a girl any longer. Killing the patient is not a 
cure." 
    He lazily indicated their wall, fighting an inward urge to purr as 
the sisters bent to their ministrations. "Here I've used the second 
type of effect to build the wall, and added spells to it that are of 
the third kind. Defensive enchantments that make it hard to endanger 
us." His face acquired a glint that was hard to define. "Rience, the 
mage companion of Kisaby, was the first to invent them. The spells are 
unmatched in siege and have not been defeated since their creation. 
Though very few mages know of them, I am one of the few." 
    "Do spells like that ever wear out?" 
    Ranma leaned back as he considered Ukyo's question while the other 
girls regarded her strangely for her odd insight. "Yes and no, depends 
on the skill of the mage doing them. Some of the crudest magic items 
have spells that will last only a few years, better ones last for 
decades, and top of the line weapons that require special materials to 
create, can last for centuries or even millennia. In the case of elves, 
their weaving of spells is so tight they grow *stronger* with passing 
time. Ancient elvan weapons are something to fear, and they have more 
of them than most people think. Dwarven work is stable, it stays just 
about the same unless the craftsman was especially gifted or talented, 
or lacking in same. I haven't been a mage long enough to tell how my 
work bears up. The first thing I made was only five years ago, and that 
was this bag." He patted it fondly, then shrugged happily. "It's borne 
up well since. I can't see any sign of its enchantments fraying, and 
that's always a good sign." 
    Ranma spread out his arms and leaned against them, sighing deeply 
as Nabiki moved lower to work his back. "One bad thing is that Jusenkyo 
curses grow stronger over time. They're fairy magic, even if not elvan. 
That can actually be worse, but I've got a strong enough nullifier I 
think to handle it." 
    He held out a finger and seemed oddly shocked when nothing flew up 
to land on it. Freeing his mind of the pleasing sensations instilled by 
the sisters, he stood up to look around. 
    "What are you looking for, son-in-law?" 
    Ranma and all the girls looked up to see Cologne perched on the top 
of his outer wall. The old woman put away her pen and scroll, rolling 
it up to stow away in her sleeve before hopping down among them. 
    "Cologne?" 
    "What Great-Grandmother doing here?" 
    "Yeah, what's up? I thought you had a restaurant to open." 
    The old woman gave a wrinkly smile. "Ah, well, what's the point 
being an owner of your own business if you can't afford to take a day 
off once in a while?" Cologne chuckled. "Besides, I only wanted to 
offer what help I could to you adapting to this place. You've been very 
kind to our tribe since getting married, and it only seemed right to 
help an ally." 
    "What about the scroll?" Nabiki asked her. 
    An enigmatic grin. "Oh, that. Nothing to worry about, Nabiki dear. 
It's not often that our world sees an actual mage. I was on my way to 
see you and heard his little explanation, I was only taking notes to 
record what I'd overheard. I think I got it all, but would you mind 
terribly repeating that point about the cup and the bread? I was on the 
other side of the wall and didn't manage to see it." 
    He was just gathering breath when the temple on top of their hill 
exploded. 

    Akane punched Happosai, kicked him, and threw him outside. But by 
the time she'd turned around to the burning ramen, he was back and 
fondling her, rubbing his face in the lower regions of her hips again. 
    Genma and Soun sat dejectedly in their places, smelling smoke and 
each getting out yet another container of instant ramen. Soun had a 
campfire going in moments. They'd had lots of recent practice. It 
helped they'd banked the coals from cooking breakfast. 
    Punting Happosai through an unrepaired hole in the roof yet again, 
Akane watched the ramen smoldering and turning to charcoal in the 
skillet and felt tears coming to her eyes. "Ranma..." 
    Her resolve hardened. She still had copies of his spellbook. There 
had to be a way to fix it so they were together again. That potion just 
had to be a fluke. They must have written the recipe wrong. Fending off 
the returned Happosai a third time, Akane thought of her upcoming 
marriage to Kuno. 
    Desperate times, Akane told herself as flames erupted from the 
frying pan, burning the scorched walls yet again, called for desperate 
measures. 
    The vial of old potion shoved in the pile with the other unwashed 
pans at the back of the stove began to rattle, then shake, and startled 
Akane so much she threw an open pail of oil into the fire. The 
explosion rocked the walls of their house and killed the unique 
bacterial culture that had been growing in the cooling remains of her 
last attempt at meatloaf (also shoved to the back burner) that would 
have caused cerebral hemmoraging and death in half of the adult men of 
the planet and sterility in all the rest. So this explosion was not at 
all a bad thing. 
    Out of the cooling potion pot a pair of hairy arms extricated 
themselves, then pulled out the ridiculously small body of a chibi-King 
Kong wearing a sailor hat and sunglasses. The arms were out of 
proportion and reached six feet long for a body barely one. 
    "Hehehehe, I... waitaminute." The creature goggled at itself. "I 
should be covered in flames! And... what about my... but the horns! 
And..." The deformed ape demon sputtered while its summoner was still 
coughing the smoke out of her lungs. It concluded. "When you show up to 
conclude another demon's Fell Contract you are NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK 
LIKE YOU BELONG IN A CHILD'S FAIRY TALE!!!!" 
    Akane's gaze was unimpressed and unfriendly. She snorted. "So you 
want to be covered in flames?" Seeing the demon nod, she tilted him 
into her cooking fire, 
    Soun and Genma looked up as a flaming deformed ape ran shrieking 
out of the kitchen with a gooey pot on it's head, Akane chasing to 
throw pans and obscenities after it. 
    They retired to eat their ramen on the roof. 

    Ryoga was having a bad day. 
    It was, as usual, all Ranma's fault of course, and he duly made 
note of that. It had all started back when that philanderer had made 
off with Akane's sisters. Various expletives floated around in Ryoga's 
head as he cursed the day Saotome abandoned his commitment to the girl 
(never mind that she had killed him and his mother had nixed the 
engagement, his new wife wouldn't stand for a murderess joining the 
fold and after the marriage Ranma had been supremely busy with being 
married. The fact that everything was Saotome's fault was a pillar of 
Ryoga's existence). 
    Yes, it was all Ranma's fault. Because without Ranma there, Ryoga 
had been forced into closer contact with Akane (read: he had tried to 
take over the vacant position of fiance, being *deliriously* happy to 
accept an engagement to Akane offered by her father) and then tragedy 
struck (read: without the efforts of Ranma there *protecting* Ryoga's 
secret ID as P-chan, that secret had inevitably been blown). 
    Akane had needed something to vent her fury upon. Ranma was gone 
and Ryoga was handy. The revelation gave her an excuse to blow up, and 
though she felt much better afterwards, Ryoga's life had been 
destroyed. 
    Ryoga was after revenge on a scale previously unheard of. 
    The minor insult of beating him in contests to see who got bread 
had driven the Lost Boy to the depths of what most would freely call 
obsession. The cursed springs had made him even more of a match for the 
clinical term called homicidal lunacy. 
    Now the Lost Boy was simply going to kill. 
    It mattered not that Ranma had nothing to do with it. It mattered 
not a trifle that the Saotome boy didn't even *know* about it. He was 
going to die. Rather than talk about or threaten it, Ryoga was simply 
going to kill him. He was that mad. 
    Though mad as in anger or a barking lunatic was a matter for some 
debate. 
    In a movie Ryoga had never seen, a short, green muppet once warned 
"Anger, fear, depression. The Dark Side are they." And while he only 
briefly touched on fear a little more then most because of the 
adventures he'd been exposed to, Ryoga had the other two mastered. He 
felt precious little else. If he'd been raised a Jedi he'd have gone to 
the Sith faster then Genma scooping up a fallen coin. The Emperor never 
would've *looked* at the kid called Skywalker. 
    He'd heard Ranma was touring Europe, which explained why Ryoga was 
now lost there and what he was looking for. Though killing a man while 
he's on his honeymoon was a choice made in decidedly poor taste. 
    His backpack encrusted with ice, the Lost Boy continued to trudge 
across the fjord in Scandinavia where he was presently lost as a 
pelican in a black bag being shipped through customs on Tatooine. 
Although some rather nice farms dotted the *tops* of the nearby cliffs, 
and some decent docks and shipping went on upstream. No one had trudged 
this area on foot in centuries. Tides, ice and the jagged rocks had a 
habit of killing visitors and there wasn't much glory in saying you'd 
walked the beach in Norway. Nothing like having conquered Everest, for 
example, though in this case the challenge was similar. 
    But right now the tide was out, he had an umbrella made out of 
better material than steel (though presently dented from having stopped 
a few killer icicles from falling through his thick head), and the 
beach was a bare path behind him, softly littered with gravel that had 
formerly been those aforementioned jagged rocks. 
    Spying a nearby cave and noting that night had fallen, Ryoga 
decided to make his camp. But first he blew away the rune-encrusted 
rock slabs guarding the entrance with a Breaking Point touch. 
    The icicle that fell on him from the shock of that blast made trash 
of his umbrella and got Ryoga angrier still, forcing him inside because 
just then it began to rain. Later the tide would close the entrance and 
he'd be forced to find another way out, or make one. 
    Ryoga was having a really terrible day. 

    Hikaru Gosenkugi was having the time of his life. 
    With still only scattered pages he had managed to piece together 
enough bits to make the Holy Grail of his existence possible. He was 
going to marry Akane. Right on the page before him was the complete 
receipe for an honest-to-goodness Love Potion. 
    Oh sure, the instructions on *mixing* it were cut off partway, on a 
page he didn't have. But the ingredients were all spelled out in minute 
detail, as was the initial preparation. 
    It ought to work flawlessly. 
    Having assembled all of the necessary ingredients (raiding his 
mother's kitchen and herb garden, ransacking the attic, stealing 
several flowers from Mrs. Takuchi's garden, going to lengths to obtain 
certain rocks and raiding the school Chem Lab for materials and his new 
equipment), he was ready. 
    He even had the breath of a virgin handy! Though if his plans 
worked his own would soon cease to qualify. Gosenkugi locked himself in 
his basement and began to mix. 
    Several of the neighbors looked up on hearing the oddly pathetic 
diabolical laughter. 

    When their home exploded Ranma merely raised an eyebrow, the 
reactions of the others was a little more... unrestrained. 
    Nabiki jumped back, slammed her head against the wall, and abruptly 
took a nap. Kasumi realized she had jumped up into Ranma's arms and 
looked acutely embarrassed. Shampoo had stepped back, falling 
instinctively into a defensive stance. Beside her Ukyo held her big 
spatula in a blocking position. The two matching and supporting each 
other even before they realized it. 
    Cologne was waiting expressionlessly. She shared a look with Ranma 
and he gave a nod, whispered a word, and raised a hand, floating the 
whole group of them over the two story inner wall (twenty four feet 
high, exactly twice as tall as the first) and onto the sanctum of their 
inner plateau where a blonde with blackened face and hair was 
struggling out of the smoke holding something. 
    *Cough!* "Here Ranma, I completed your virility potion!!" She 
exclaimed proudly, holding a vial out to him. 
    Ranma accepted the proffered drink and sniffed at it a bit, 
exclaiming professionally. "Needs more Thyme, and a bit of Rosemary. 
The Hagwort is definitely a problem, as it would lead to gradual 
sterility creeping up over time." 
    "Hey!" The blonde gaijin woman was obviously crushed. "It was only 
my second try!" Then she stopped and blinked prodigiously. "Honey, when 
did you learn magic?" 
    The group looked at their feet and noted they were hovering several 
inches above the grass. Feeling caught at what til recently wasn't at 
all peculiar to him, yet stood out clearly here, Ranma landed them. 
~Second Try??! It took the combined alchemists of three royal academies 
several years to complete a working formula and that was her SECOND 
TRY!? Who is she?~ 
    The blonde woman cocked her head curisouly at them and their odd 
behavior. 
    "Astrild?" Ukyo ventured in a questioning tone, recognizing the 
lady from pictures. 
    Ranma went white as facts suddenly connected and hit home. 
    "Yes Darling?" Prompted Nabiki in the same tone that Ukyo had a 
moment before. 
    Ranma swallowed. "Astrild, she's the Norse goddess of love." 
    "That's both my name and job description, but you know that." The 
blonde agreed with him. "Ranma Darling, I thought you and the rest 
would be off for the whole day." Astrild looked over the group and her 
eyes widened. "None of you remember me? Shampoo, have you been playing 
with the shampoos again?" 
    Shampoo shook her head rapidly. 
    Astrild looked puzzled. "This doesn't make any sense." She assumed 
a cute pouting expression to think that had Ranma somehow deeply want 
to hold her. Ukyo gave him a shove and he held Astrild. 
    Cologne cleared her throat. "If you'll allow me to explain, these 
youngsters believe they have a different past than ours. It has all 
come as quite a shock to them." 
    Astrild formed a pouty frown. "I've got to check this out. Excuse 
me, please." She began to fade into sparkling lights inside of Ranma's 
arms. "Hang on, I need to make a phone call." 
    "Who you gonna call?" Ukyo couldn't resist. 
    "Heaven. I've got Heimdall's pager number, he ought to be able to 
fill me in on the details, just hang tight." The blonde goddess quickly 
disappeared, not bothering to use the paths as she just phased out in 
midair. Ranma dropped his arms as he found himself holding nothing. 
Nabiki quickly remedied that, filling that gap. 
    "She know Shampoo and Spa... Ukyo, and other brides?" 
    Ukyo tossed her sister-wife a tentative grin at the change to first 
name. 
    "She does seem to." Kasumi debated whether to climb out of Ranma's 
arms where she seemed to have accidentally displaced Nabiki. On the one 
hand maybe it was wrong, so perhaps she should. After all she had just 
been... on the other... but maybe... perhaps...  But it wasn't like 
Ranma seemed to mind. Blushing, Kasumi looked down at her hand. "And 
she _did_ have a ring just like the rest of ours." She finished, 
deciding to stay where she was for the moment. 
    Sparkling lights began to solidify into the blonde woman they'd 
seen in the pictures. She was looking MAD and pointed a finger. "You. 
Ranma. Now." She turned with a swirling ponytail and headed back into 
their house, which was looking only partly ruined from the last 
explosion. 
    Judging the likely consequences either way, Ranma released Kasumi 
and hurried after the departing goddess. Looking over the remaining 
brides, Colonge announced. "I won't be long," and disappeared to 
follow. 
    The confused girls looked at each other. 

    No sooner did she have Ranma alone than Astrild threw herself on 
him and began to cry her eyes out. 
    "Uhm?" Ranma offered intelligently. 
    Astrild hauled him down to stare into his eyes. "I've just spent 
the best three months of my LIFE building all the love and affection 
between us I possibly could and you don't even REMEMBER any of it!" She 
wept in his face, then oozed against him and sobbed. "Heimie-chan said 
he'd sick Urd on chasing down your memory files, but it may take 
years." 
    The magical martial artist had a teary goddess in his face. "Can 
you understand how much that hurts?" She demanded. 
    Quietly Ranma assumed that it had to be a great deal, as he tried 
to figure out what one did for a crying wife you'd only just met, yet 
had gleefully spent her best energies with you for a quarter of a year 
- and to all accounts you owed your life to her. 
    Magic he knew, martial arts he knew. Women were another matter. 
    With quiet desperation, he held her to him as he'd seen villagers 
do when a dragon or something had ruined their village. It seemed to 
work okay. 

    Ukyo examined the now partially collapsed central hallway behind 
the temple's main visitor areas (now smoldering). Ranma was doing 
something with Astrild, and that promised to take considerable time if 
she knew Ranma-honey or that look on that girl's face (which was one 
FAR too familiar for her own liking), and everyone else wanted to see 
the rest of this place NOW. 
    While there was still some of it left. 
    Going in through the front doors was the auditorium/chapel, only 
partially wrecked by the explosion, then a few rooms for preparations 
(one of which was marked "Astrild's Lab- Do Not Touch- Trespassers Will 
Be Violated") and was locked (Nabiki had tried it.) 
    Then came a central hallway and the rooms. Duck placards on two of 
the doors here proclaimed Kasumi's and Nabiki's rooms. A metal spatula 
hung from a peg on a third door was engraved with Ukyo's own name. 
Shampoo's name was written in both katakana and her own dialect, the 
bronze placard framed with little enameled bonbori. One door had a 
heart-shaped placard on which a set of runes were placed, and Ukyo 
guessed that this was the room of that "Astrild" that Nabiki's diary 
had spoken of and where she was now alone with Ranma. Another door had 
a two dimensional placard of a delivery box and the name "Kaori" upon 
it. 
    Ranma's room bore a wooden silhoutte of a rearing horse and his own 
name. 
    That left two doors that had yet to be explored on this side of the 
collapsed ceiling beams left from the earlier explosion. Nabiki moved 
past Ukyo to open the one at the far end of the remaining hallway, 
revealing steps leading down. 
    Nabiki led the group, her natural curiosity proving too much to 
contain. At the end of the stairs was a small room, which proved to 
have a number of towels. 
    Ukyo shot past Nabiki to examine what she hoped to find. She 
stopped at the doorway, causing the others to forcibly move her out of 
the way. 
    Nabiki whistled, long and low. 
    The ceiling was vaulted, with rows of windows set high above that 
let sunlight slant into the room.  Cedar planks stretched out across 
the floor, small gaps providing drainage in the hot, humid atmosphere. 
Marble pillars stretched up, which combined with the vaulted ceiling to 
give the impression almost of a cathedral. A cathedral where plants had 
run amuck, because there were thick ferns in planters, vines running 
around the pillars to become lost in the squares of foliage bordered by 
the cedar walkways. 
    Water dripped, gathering on the ceiling from the humidity to splash 
against water or plank or greenery. The tiles of the "washing off" area 
were elaborate and looked vaguely Arabic to Nabiki's appraising eye. 
    It was the bath itself that gathered their attention more than 
anything else, even among the exotic flora and elaborate tiling, 
blue-veined marble, and the statues of people nobody immediately 
identified in the alcoves. 
    Steam swirled and slid along the surface of the bath. Shampoo 
wasn't the only one to realize that she was at the edge of the bath, 
looking in, and not remembering having walked there. 
    There was a bench for sitting down within the waters, the near end 
being a little under three feet deep. An examination of the *far* end 
revealed no bench, and the waters there were closer to six feet deep. 
    "Is this a bath or a heated pool?" Nabiki pondered aloud, 
interrupted a moment later by the sounds of Shampoo and Ukyo both 
getting themselves as clean as possible, racing to see who would be the 
first to try out this watery treasure. 
    Kasumi wandered past and called Nabiki's attention to the 
whirlpool, apparently a new addition with the motor area empty. Another 
of the "additions" that hadn't been quite finished yet. There were even 
several chairs sitting off to the side, apparently for resting after 
the serious effort of getting clean. 
    Two splashes indicated that a little pink furred cat and an 
okonomiyaki chef were nearly simultaneous in reaching the bath. 
    Ukyo sat back on the bench and nearly purred. "No more using a 
public bath-house. Ohhhh. Ranchan, I *love* you!" 
    Shampoo *was* purring, even though she'd changed back to being 
human the moment she'd hit the water. 
    Nabiki left the bath area, not having the strength or inclination 
to drag the two out of their warm bliss. There was still one door to 
consider. 
    With a confident stride, Nabiki walked up the stairs to the 
hallway, opened the second door and looked up the flight of stairs. 
    "Oh my," said Kasumi from her position behind her sister. "I 
thought this was only a one story building..." 
    "It is." Nabiki frowned. "Well, nowhere to go but up, I suppose." 
    They ventured thither. 

    The Tendo doorbell rang. 
    When it had rung for the third time, Akane finally realized there 
was no older sisters to answer it and put aside the shovel she'd been 
using to try and clean some of the mess of broken boards and tilework 
out of their bathroom so she could take a bath, leaving it more of a 
mess than before she'd started as she went to answer the front door. 
    Mousse was there, wringing his hands together. 
    Akane frowned. ~Why did this pervert have to come here?~ 
    Mousse saw her and bowed very low. "Forgive me, Akane. But I have 
come to... I have come... 
toaskyourpermissiontobereleasedfromourengagement!" 
    Akane blinked, then scowled. At least Mousse was wearing his 
glasses. She leaned out toward him, still holding on the doorframe. 
"Are you trying to say that you'd rather *not* be engaged to me, is 
that it?" 
    Terrified, Mousse managed a nod. 
    "Well FINE!!" Akane shouted. "I can't imagine how we ever got 
together in the first place!" She slammed the door on him to punctuate 
her words. 
    Soun and Genma appeared from where they'd hidden nearby and began 
to sob like their hearts would break, leaning on each other for support 
in their agony. As the sounds of cheering and celebrating increased in 
volume on the other side of the portal, Akane had a brief moment to 
wonder if she'd just made some mistake. 
    Soun was blubbering. "But... he was such a *nice* boy, compared to 
all the others." 
    Genma sobbed. "Maybe... we should ask the Master if he would take 
us on another training trip, Tendo." 
    As the two 'adults' vanished to pack their bags, she passed from 
slightly confused to a state that added significantly to that earlier 
bit of doubt, especially as Mousse's cheering just increased in volume 
as he went on up the street. 
    Happosai appeared between Akane's breasts. "Oh! How could you boys 
even think about leaving Akane when she is in such a time of distress?" 
In the midst of groping her, he turned shining eyes up at her glowering 
face. "I know! We'll just have to engage *me* to you in that boy's 
stead!" 
    "DIE!!" 
    Akane punted the pervert to the horizon.