Shampoo's Revenge 

Part 6 

by Jared Ornstead

=====

    Akane glared angrily at Soun, who stared sheepishly at the floor, 
avoiding her gaze. 
    Between them the living room had burned down, started by Soun's 
cigarette and spreading as he'd spilled sake and tried mopping the 
precious (to him) fluid up, snatching away his daughter's baby blanket 
- the only covering for her upper portions besides her arms, and then 
being startled and trying to slap the fire out with said blanket, only 
to find that he was swinging about a blazing, sake-filled, rag torch. 
    If he hadn't started crying they'd never have put the fire out 
before it consumed the house. 
    "Me wanna go wee wee." 
    "Oh, shut up." 
    Yuka glared at her friend, finished dousing the sparks in her 
dress. "Anyway, looks like the crisis is over. You can handle it from 
here. Don't forget to return my stuff that you borrowed. I'll need it 
at gym tomorrow." 
    Akane giggled inanely and sweatdropped madly. 
    Yuka saw the look, and frowned. "Never mind. I can see you 
destroyed them again. Honestly, Akane, don't you care about anyone 
else's things?" 
    Akane was about to start bawling. 
    Yuka turned and went out toward the door, saying as she left. 
"Don't bother asking for any more help until you've replaced my 
exercise outfit. I'm angry at you now." 
    Big, wet tears hung from either corner of Akane's eyes. 
    "I'm hungry." The child declared. 
    "Oh, your..." Soun's face went pale as he considered the only 
daughter on hand who he might press into cooking. 
    Akane rounded and pounded off into the kitchen. "That's right! I 
learned this new recipe today. It was playing on the clock radio when I 
woke up. I missed the first couple of minutes, but I'll just improvise 
the rest with my own little creative ideas! I know, I'll use raisins. 
Dad likes raisins!" 
    Thinking horrid thoughts about what small, dark and wrinkly things 
Akane might find - and subsequently ***SO*** glad they didn't have a 
pet (and hence litter box), Soun hid his ash-darkened face in his hands 
and moaned. 
    The little kid started to pee in the corner. 

    Ryoga was caught in a dilemma. 
    For once he was wishing it was Ranma, he was up against. 
    It was very simple. Ranma cared about honor. If you got his word, 
he kept it. That made it very simple to get the better of him. One 
thing Ryoga had learned even before his short association with Genma, 
was that honor was a tool, a weapon, something to be used against your 
foes and not to be allowed to be used against you in turn. 
    In short, expect (even demand) it from others - and have none 
yourself. 
    It was a principle he'd lived his life by. 
    Ryoga felt it perfectly acceptable for *him* to attack foes in the 
dark, in their sleep, or from behind. While he was always raving about 
honor to keep _Ranma_ tied down he was freely breaking his word, 
sleeping with another man's fiancee with his full knowledge, against 
his wishes and rubbing said man's nose it while he fondled said girl's 
breasts (even if it was only with his snout), and keeping his own word 
of honor only when it was convenient or he stood too great a risk of 
being caught by those he maintained an image for (so they would always 
presume he was right). 
    Ryoga was, in short, an honorless bastard. 
    Pity Happosai was too. 
    That cut him out of the easy way out, which was to raise a question 
of the other person's honor, then, while they were dealing with that, 
conveniently forget about his own obligations - then blame his 
forgetfulness on another if challenged about it. 
    It all worked so wonderfully with Ranma that he'd come to rely on 
it more than ever. 
    But... 
    Ryoga stared at the camera in his hands. 
    Resolve firming, he set off with spring in his step and an evil 
grin on his face. He could always sell the photographs at school to get 
Ranma into a trap. For that matter, he could keep a few copies of the 
pictures himself, or even the negatives. There were lots of places that 
he traveled where they wouldn't take Japanese yen. A few trade goods 
were always helpful. 
    Finding his umbrella, he tried to lift it and suddenly wondered why 
he was unable to even budge the thing. 

    "So Nabiki, this is mother's home." 
    From the way Kasumi just casually opened the gate and strolled 
right in, brushing right on in through the door to be taking off her 
street shoes and slipping on a pair of indoor slippers in her favorite 
colors in a spot with her name on it, Nabiki had to assume this was 
true. But when she reached into a slot with her own name on it she 
found the slippers were of a size to fit a nine year old. 
    "Sorry about that." Kasumi apologized. "I stopped buying you new 
ones because you never came here to use them. We'll get you a new set 
this weekend. In the meantime you can use one of the guest pairs." 
    Feeling a little ashamed, and not even certain why, Nabiki did so, 
and followed her elder sister into a front room positively *bursting* 
with award cases. They entered just as another figure was on his way 
out. 
    Kasumi greeted Mikado with a kiss. "Hello, Mickey. Having fun?" 
    Mikado Sanzennin fluffed his hair and glamour sparkles flew out in 
a dazzling display of perfect technique. "Sure, Sweet Pea. Coming to 
the Barn today?" 
    "Not today, thanks." Kasumi replied sweetly. "I have too many 
things to do." 
    Mikado skated off with a wave. "Later, pet." 
    Nabiki was goggling. "Do you always greet him with a kiss?" She 
tried to ask this sarcastically, but it came out too strained to be 
effective. 
    "Oh, you have to." Her big sister automatically replied. "He 
insists. After the shock of the first few times wears off you discover 
he's really quite a good kisser." 
    "The Barn?" Nabiki hauled the words out of her throat with 
difficulty, imagining some deeply disturbing scene that would shatter 
her image of Kasumi forever. 
    "Mm Hmm." Kasumi nodded agreeably. "It's our favorite skating rink. 
We go there to practice alot. They let us pros in free during midday 
closing hours." 
    "WE?!? PROS!!?!?" Nabiki squeaked. Her fears had been right. 
    Kasumi turned to puzzle at her sister. "Nabiki, where have you 
*been*? You know all about my being on the Furinkan High School Figure 
Skating Team." 
    "I know you were *on* it, but I wasn't really paying attention." 
Life had always been like that. Kasumi was background material, meant 
to be looked at only if damaged. In other words, something to be mainly 
ignored as you went on with life. She'd been busy setting up her 
network back then, anyway. She'd had alot on her mind making the 
betting pools her own as her network hadn't made the transition from 
middle school intact, so Nabiki'd had to replace key members - and, of 
course, displace the former betting, bribery & blackmail ring at 
Furinkan. That had been her busiest year, as she'd gained control. 
Since then things had been easy as she'd just had to maintain all those 
things fought for so hard during her first oh so difficult year, and 
the difference in their ages meant that was their only high school year 
together. Paying attention to Kasumi had been *last* on her priority 
list. And by the time the betting pool was coming under her control her 
sister's matches had all been out of town anyway, so she didn't even 
bother to research the odds. She'd trained flunkies to handle that. 
    During middle school she'd had middle school events to focus on. It 
was what her peers had cared about, therefore what they'd bet on. 
    The elder sister rolled her eyes, feeling unappreciated. "BEAKIE!!" 
She used that horrid, childhood nickname - taken from a favored muppet 
back when Nabiki was too young and girlish to think cynically. "What 
PLANET do you live on??! I won the National High School Figure Skating 
Championship three years running! Just like I won the Middle School and 
Junior Leagues before then! Honestly, how *else* do you think I got so 
early into the Olympics?" 
    She pointed to a trophy case on the wall, one festooned with 
ribbons, plaques, and awards of every kind. In it, centered between 
drapes of blue cloth isolating it from the cups and gold award statues 
to either side of it, was hung a gold medal... 
    Two... 
    Three gold medals. 
    Nabiki's hair frizzed out wildly. Three times gold medalist figure 
skater? Her sister was winning Olympic gold medals at the tender age of 
*SEVEN!*?? Pictures of their mom standing with Kasumi as she accepted 
each one of the three, smiling, happy and bright, each time a little 
older, caught the eye. 
    Nabiki reeled. 
    Then some of the *other* award cases on the wall leapt out at her, 
featuring sporting events that were *not* skating. Nabiki's eyes swept 
to the right of the skating medals to the next case full of gymnastics 
prizes, to the left and caught a fencing trophy out of many put on 
display there (Greater Tokyo Intramural Championships - 2nd Place) in 
the next case, to the Naginata-ryuu (martial arts using the "Japanese 
halberd") trophy in another nearby - 1st Place to the Martial Arts 
Cooking Competition's Golden Wok trophy caught her eye out of another 
display. 
    With an almost audible creak, Nabiki now looked to the left and the 
next wall... 
    The "Honorary Devil-Hunter Apprentice" plaque. The MVP award from 
the 1988 Girl's Soccer High School League. A plaque that indicated 
Kasumi had qualified at the shooting range at Misawa Air Force Base. 
The ribbon from Tokyo Comicsmart indicating her doujinshi "Love's Fiery 
Destiny" had won first place in the Romance/Shoujo division. 
    The room around her spun, filled with trophy and award cases. 
    Looking around herself to follow her sister's gaze, Kasumi 
pleasantly added. "Azusa keeps her medals in *her* room, because she 
likes to see them when she gets up in the mornings. She's won some very 
nice silvers to go with my golds." 
    Nabiki fainted. 

    "I WANNA CANDY!!" 
    "SHUT UUUUP!!" Akane shouted, vein bulging out on her forehead. 
Ever since their home's kitchen had had that mysterious fire when she 
was cooking their meal she'd been out trying to shop for her double 
fudge, malted whiskey, ozone and peaches, with salami and chives sauce 
ingredients so she could continue with her preparations for the Belgian 
waffles and sushi dish she was *sure* would knock her father's socks 
off! 
    It would even fit according to Nabiki's plan for getting Ranma 
back! 
    The kid she was engaged to began wailing out on the street they 
were walking down, throwing a massive fit while pulling at Akane's 
clothes. His pudgy hands were all over with melted sweets that she'd 
already bought to keep him quiet this far, and the smears that appeared 
on the last dress she had left broke what remained of Akane's patience. 
    "THAT'S IT!!!" 
    Out came mallet-sama, and she proceeded to vent her rage, using the 
kid as a punching bag every bit as severely as she did with Ranma when 
the magic mushrooms had shrunk him this small. 
    The crowds at the pedestrian mall were shocked. 
    Two sets of doors slammed shut, and two vehicles sped away. One was 
an ambulance, taking the kid to the hospital (where the bill would be 
sent to the Tendos) and the other was a police van, heading off to jail 
their prisoner. 
    Akane stared glumly and in shock out from between the van's bars. 

    Nabiki came swirling confusedly back to wakefulness, lying on a 
comfy bed like Soun could only afford if he pawned the rest of his 
house for it. She looked around and saw lovely lace curtains, pink and 
white in profusion, and handy little ornamental toiletry items like a 
silver swan brush hanging on a dainty peg next to a gilt and rose 
framed mirror. She also saw her sister's face, hanging over her. 
    "Welcome to my room." Kasumi smiled. 
    "I thought you *had* a room?" Nabiki sat up, holding her head. 
Unspoken was the subtext, 'with us.' 
    Kasumi shrugged. "Father was pawning everything he could find when 
he stopped working after mother left him. I lost two of my precious 
joys - gifts mother had given me at various events, before I moved the 
rest of my special things here. Mother got the others back from the 
pawnbroker for me, but I wasn't going to risk my special things near 
father again. He's done too much damage to that house already." 
    "Oh." 
    What could you really say to something like that? 
    Kasumi pounced on this as a moment of weakness for filling up with 
the useful activity of resolving one of her own, nagging concerns. How 
much *had* her sister missed out from her life? She pressed forward. 
"Beakie, what do you know of the Valedictorian address my senior year? 
Did you even know who gave it?" 
    "Uh, no. Nothing. You don't take bets on it." Her younger sib 
sheepishly admitted. 
    Kasumi glared at her sister with a flat face. "Nabiki, you are a 
shallow thug." 
    "How come you've never shown this side of you at the house?" The 
younger girl desperately defended, trying hard not to admit to her 
sister that she was probably right. 
    "Well, I'm always so tired when I get home. Besides, after I got 
injured in third grade the doctors zonked me out on painkillers. As I 
discovered later, when mom left, it was easier to put on the same act 
whenever daddy was around rather than deal with him. But seriously, you 
didn't know that?" 
    Nabiki tried *hard* to picture when she might've seen Kasumi when 
their daddy wasn't around and came up blank - she'd *always* avoided 
her sister at school, because all her teachers had had Kasumi before 
her and expected her to be the same sweet and nice little angel, an 
image that would've killed her rep and ruined her ability to run 
betting pools. 
    She stood staring blankly. 
    "Are you alright?" Kasumi asked with renewed concern. 
    "I'm just waking up and realizing that I missed the better part of 
my life." Her younger sister mumbled. 
    Kasumi was back to smiling, pulling Nabiki off her bed by her hand. 
"C'mon, mother is downstairs, and I'm sure she'd like to talk with you 
again." 

    KNOCK! KNOCK! 
    Soun mildly finished showing the man from the nice mortgage company 
out the door with thanks for helping him make his daughter's bail, then 
answered the looks from the two stuffy and official looking men 
standing on his front step. 
    He trembled. "Err, can I help you gentlemen?" 
    He was shown a badge. "Soun Tendo? We're from the immigration 
department. It has come to our attention through one of our agents that 
there's been a mistake. Will you sign these forms, please? And these 
other officers would like to search your house." 
    They presented him with a raft of paper as a stream of grim faced, 
armed men went past him into the building. 
    "Err, what's this?" He lifted up the top one to look at it. 
    "You are acknowledging that you will do whatever is necessary to 
help apprehend the convicted criminal and escaped convict Akane Tendo, 
who has just escaped prison this afternoon mere minutes after her 
arrival. Oh, you will also be wanting this." 
    The man handed him what looked a bit like a checkbook, to Soun who 
hadn't seen one of those in ages. Crying tears, he asked as the men 
began to demolish his house searching behind him. "And what is this?" 
    "Your internal passport. You will be required to carry it at all 
times. Your daughter Nabiki Tendo came to our attention when she tried 
to turn in the diplomatic-immune party of representatives from a 
friendly, independent Chinese community. Once she popped up on our 
scopes we did a little looking in to her background and discovered that 
your family is not Japanese. You are, in fact, Korean immigrants, and 
must abide by the laws associated with them. Send your daughters around 
so they can be fingerprinted and photographed, in the next three days. 
Otherwise we will be forced to take action." 
    Soun was blubbering incoherently as they took the signed forms and, 
with a final crash, left the house and went away. The chief inspector 
smiled to himself as their long cars departed. ~At last, Nabiki Tendo, 
I have my revenge for what you did to my poor daughter in her year at 
Furinkan!~ 

    Akane, wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, sobbed as Genma lifted 
her out over the tank. [No blubbering girl!] the panda's sign read. 
[This is for your own good!] With a shriek she was dropped into the 
tank full of sharks, eels, barracuda, and other dangerous water life. 
[In you go! Next time don't try hiding in concrete buildings to avoid 
your training!] Flip. [Or I'll break down the walls of that one, too!] 
    Her burbling scream bubbled up in reply. 
    Genma sat munching on a stolen bowl of rice while the girl thrashed 
with an alligator with the name Mr. Green Turtle. The panda wiped sweat 
from his brow as her leg got bitten and she had to let go of the 
monster's mouth in order to fend off an attack of piranha on her face 
while leeches squirmed into her jumpsuit. The barracuda almost seemed 
to be waiting in line behind the sharks and squid. 
    POW!! 
    Sir Wilfred came up, checking the spoor of panda blood left behind 
by the fleeing creature. There came a deucedly uncomfortable moment 
when he had to decide between chasing the now-wounded (and dangerous) 
creature, or saving this rather peculiar drowning victim. 
    With a sigh, bearing the responsibility of nobility, the Englishman 
paused just long enough to phone in for a rescue team, then dashed off 
after the panda, the girl in the pond struggling with tentacles around 
her neck, thrashing in the water behind him. 

    Their reunion had been a touching scene, if a surreal one to 
Nabiki. 
    Kimiko was brushing tears from the corners of her eyes and saying, 
"Of course I had to change my last name, but the Shiratori family was 
kind enough to take me in and give me a place on their registers. Of 
course, the silly way the school zones are worked my home falls in the 
district of Kolholtz High School, and not Furinkan, but that's never 
caused any problems I know of." 
    Nabiki rushed headlong. "Why don't you come back to dad?" 
    Kimiko blushed. "Oh, but Nabiki, Soun is not your father." 
    "WHAT??!" Sudden, porcupine hairstyle on the stunned daughter. 
    A mysterious figure wearing Darth Vader armor came into the living 
room, holding out a gloved hand toward Nabiki. "*I* am your father." 
    "ACK!!" 
    Blushing Kimiko sipped delicately at her tea. "The doctors can't 
measure sperm counts as low as Soun's. He's had his member all twisted 
and mangled from his training with Happosai, so it wasn't any use 
anyway. So I had to seek alternate methods to have you." 
    THUD!! 
    That was the sound of Nabiki hitting the ground. 
    Doctor Tofu took off his helmet and adjusted his glasses, coming 
over to Nabiki's side to examine her. "Well, there appears to be no 
injuries." He turned back to look at his wife. "Honestly, Kimmi-chan, 
you'd told her before, right?" 
    Kimiko shook her head, still blushing. "I never had a chance to. 
She never gave me one. And now it's all hitting her at once." 
    The good Dr. Tofu stood up, looking at his wife. "But I don't 
understand. All those years... they were coming to my clinic, and 
Kasumi was *always* 'borrowing books' from me. Don't tell me *Nabiki* 
of all people was fooled by that silly gag. I thought that ruse would 
fall through the first time we used it to excuse her coming over to our 
place all the time." 
    Kasumi was sorrowfully shaking her head. "But she never did want to 
return those books for me. I never could understand why, til now." 
    Kimiko was looking down sorrowfully at her restored daughter. "It 
would seem Nabiki found the illusion more comfortable than the reality 
that she really always was the least accomplished of our children. Such 
a shame. If she'd only gotten over this sooner... She could be so much 
more like her sisters now." 
    She beamed at Kasumi. 
    Dr. Tofu smiled in a strange way, looking down at his second 
daughter. "So all those times I was trading family code words with her 
and not understanding her responses were because she had no idea what 
the codes meant?" 
    "It would appear so." 
    Dr. Ono Tofu Shiratori (who ran a clinic by his middle name, before 
he retired) stood with a strange smirk on his face, then laughed, 
replacing his helmet. "Oh well, anyway, it will all sort out, I'm sure. 
I'm off to the con!" 
    "Goodbye dear! Have fun!" She turned away, pleased with how well 
her husband did in his chosen profession. Honestly! Doctors have to get 
up at all hours of the night and deal with *constant* interruptions. He 
was so much happier now as owner of one of the largest film studios in 
Japan. She couldn't describe how grateful she was when he gave up 
practicing medicine to take over his family business. Now she could 
spend the quality time with him that meant he wouldn't go all loopy 
when he saw something that reminded him of her! 
    A smiling Kasumi took her mother's arm and leaned into her 
shoulder. "Mother, I'm so glad the young man who donated sperm for you 
to have children was still unmarried when you decided to dump that 
other." 
    Kimiko smiled down at her eldest. "Kasumi, will you at least listen 
to me this once? For *years* I've been telling you not to go back to 
Soun. Now that Nabiki is back with us can't you stay here from now on?" 
    It deserved a moment of thought. "Oh, alright." 
    "Do you need to get your things?" 
    "No, from the smell of the smoke, Akane was cooking tonight. I had 
nothing really important outside the kitchen, and that won't be 
salvaged easily, if at all. I'll just use the ones we have here 
instead." 
    Kimiko gave her daughter a hug. "That's my girl." 
    Azusa popped down the stairs. "Mom! Kasumi! Come quick! Look at the 
news!" 
  

***** 
Author's Notes: 

    Ah, me. Do you realize there was a time once when I would've felt 
ashamed to write something like this? There's severe limits to the 
profundity of ill feelings I can store within, but then, if I need a 
recharge, I just set back and watch what Akane does to the other 
characters in the manga, anime, and especially fanfiction... and she 
deserves to get it all back!