Otaku Reflected Episode Three, Eva Revolution Part Eleven A Superspy's Troubles by Jared Ornstead ===== Jared dropped Asuka in surprise. "What am I DOING??" She cooed and murmured lazily, trying to close the sudden distance and press up against him. "I don't know, but you were good at it. Why did you stop?" His watch beeped, and he froze. The only time it ever did that was when he was about to switch universes. But instead of three times it only chimed once. Then it spoke. "Request to stay with her forever received and denied. The oath sung has instead been logged as teaching her to sing it. End transmission." All around stared at Jared, who was trying hard not to stare at his watch. He got a feeling like someone was looking out for him, and didn't want to blow it. He was under assignment, and knew it. If his controllers had other interests in mind than missions, they were good ones. He'd trust them, as they'd never been wrong yet. He was also kind of relieved, in a way. Asuka had snared him against his will yet he hadn't been able to fight it like he should. He resolved to do more twisting about so that target was less easy to find. "MIYAAH!!!" A large, crystaline shape of obvious alien origins appeared in the sky. Jared grabbed a microphone, shouting over the all-ship, all military channel. "Don't shoot! These are friendlies!" The crystal fired a beam at the aircraft carrier, slamming into the deck barely a few feet from where Jared was standing. Military personnel of all types flinched, awaiting a blast, shrapnel, concussion, anything but what happened. "JAY-CHAN!!!!" Ryoko flew in one of those flips that turned into a highly acrobatic glomp, with her swinging around him and laughing in delighted pleasure. Kiyone stepped forward to clear her throat, presenting both pistol and her badge in a businesslike yet apologetic way. "Jared Saotome, on behalf of the Galaxy Police I'm forced to place you under arrest. Will you please come quietly?" Her voice was pleading. Jared was stunned, still wearing Ryoko like a fur wrap, purring pleasurably. "What's the charge, Kiyone? Who'd even *accuse* me??" The Galaxy Police detective sweatdropped, wincing. But her posture didn't alter a bit. "Indecent exposure before royalty. Tsunami swears she'll produce the evidence once we bring you in." "Oh." Jared said simply, though he sweatdropped, along with almost everyone else on both sides. Some of the military crowd snickered openly. Ryoko started cuddling his cheek. Tenchi directed that calm gaze he had toward Jared. "I'm sorry, but with you gone soon everyone started trying to marry *me* again. At least with you around I only had to deal with half the insanity." Ayeka blushed demurely. "Lord Jared, I require your help on a certain... problem." Asuka was flushed, her hands clenched by her hips in fury. "Jared, just who is this... hussy? And who're all her friends?" Jared felt the ties binding him to Asuka loosen, nevertheless his own code said she deserved a straight and level answer. He gave her one, waving to indicate the right people as the made the introductions. "Asuka Langly Soryu, I'd like you to meet my sister Ryoko. This other *beautiful* woman is my aunt Ayeka. Tenchi here is my younger brother. This is Lord Yosho, crown prince to an intergalactic empire and my grandfather. This other person of astounding loveliness is one of my best friends, Kiyone. She is like a sister to me. I love them all, they are my family. Well, some of it at any rate, I'd introduce you to the others but they aren't here at present." His face contorted into a happy smile. "Somehow I think you and my other sister, Rose, would get along beautifully." "How do you do?" The Tenchi crowd bowed perhaps more respectfully than was needful, which was nice of them all things considered, though Ryoko didn't release her hold on Jared's neck to do it. Then Asuka did one of the few things available that could've destroyed her budding relationship with Jared after the initial barriers had been passed. She refused to trust him. Asuka waved a hand angrily. "Well send them all away! You're mine, and I don't care what identities they've cooked up, they can't have you!!' Jared face acquired a stony texture, already feeling the hook she'd landed so firmly in him sliding loose. But a second try was in order. He calmly said. "Asuka, these people are dear to me. Ryoko has a past that hurt her far worse than yours, and I'm not permitted to share its details. But she is so uninhibited because of her upbringing, which had its share of flaws and then more besides." His voice was frozen. "I will allow no one to insult her in my presence." Ryoko chuckled. "Yah, you could say I was a lab rat with psychic powers. But if you did, Jay-chan here would probably hurt ya." She *liked* that part about him! He was the one person in the universe who'd ever defended HER!! Asuka was an emotive female fighting, the wrong way, for what was dear to her. She got even angrier, rushing forward to assault Ryoko as a perceived rival and thus tearing free the new and tender hold she'd established on Jared earlier. The antithesis of love was anger. It didn't live without trust, either. Asuka was rather surprised to come to a halt, her intended slap stopped by a force field a full three feet away from target. Ryoko had acquired one of those nasty, feline smirks of hers. She uncoiled partially from around Jared's body. A trio of small balls of light formed in the air and flew to her hand. When her grip closed on them they coalesced in one body and lengthened into an energy sword. Her grin was vicious, enjoying every minute of this. "I am a space pirate, and a powerful one. I could just steal him away if I wanted to. I *was* going to be polite, but... Well, so much for being nice about this." Jared laughed and hugged Ryoko joyfully, causing her insides to goo and her laser sword to vanish. "Oooh! You just need your stuffings squished, you evil menace disguised as a cuddle bear! Or was that the other way around?" He laughed, giving her an affectionate squeeze. Ryoko's eyes were liquid pleasure, with three parts joy. Jared never ceased to enjoy her reaction to these hugs he gave her. The ones she tried so hard to give others all too often didn't pan out, and he was the only one he knew of that initiated hugs with *her.* Misato came up, flabbergasted. "Jared, doesn't it bother you at all that your sister is a space pirate? I mean, that's like she's your mortal enemy or something." "Why should it? I'm a space pirate too, it's hereditary in this family. Each of us are among the best at it." He gave a wink to them. "Always do well in your chosen profession." This had the effect of a several ton mallet, flattening everyone on deck. Ryoko poked his cheek. "You know, they might need a bit more of an explanation." He considered. "Alright, I guess they do. Oh, Kiyone, put the gun away, of *course* I'll come quietly. Just let me get in this musical number before we go." He struck a note on a harmonica to set the tune while the newly arrived cast members all arrayed themselves in their proper song and dance positions. Line abreast this time, with Jared centered. Jared stepped forward in a declaration pose amidst the rising strains of music. ** "When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation Grandfather said, now son this choice deserves deliberation. Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier My boy why not consider a more challenging career?" (The Tenchi cast chorus joined shoulder to shoulder with Jared, singing as they danced) "Hey, ho, ho We'll cruise the farthest shores and you'll keep your mind and body sound by working out of doors. True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without. And when you're a professional pirate that's what the job's about!" (Jared once again stepped forward center) "Now take Sir Francis Drake The Spanish all despise him. But to the British, he's a hero And they idolize him. It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!" (Tenchi and Yosho stepped forth to take Jared's sides, the trio dancing in line) "Hey, ho, ho We're all good-hearted men and before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten. On occassion there may be someone you have to excecute But when you're a professional pirate You don't have to fear lawsuit." (Ryoko released her sudden hold on Jared long enough to pirouette with a laser sword, causing a nearby air combat plane to fall into severed pieces) "I could have been a surgeon, I like taking things apart." (Ayeka stepped forward with deceptive innocence, placing a hand on her breast.) "I could have been a lawyer, but I just had too much heart." (Tenchi looked a little shamefacedly around this crowd and shrugged.) "I could have been an inventor, but I never did care about science." (Yosho cleared his throat.) "And I could be a king, with some complience." (The men fell back behind the ladies) (Floating in the air, Ryoko began to play in a slightly menacing way with an energy ball, then dispersing it halfway through to look as innocent as the day is long.) "Some say that pirates steal, and should be feared and hated I say we're victims of bad press It's all exaggerated." (Kiyone and Ayeka came forward to join with Ryoko) "We'd *never* stab you in the back We'd never lie, or cheat We're just about the nicest folks You'd ever want to meet." ** Jared spread his arms wide, indicating the new crowd. "Why just look at us! We're a festival of conviviality! Just compare us to some of the bosses you've worked under and and say who's the worst rogues!" There was alot of agreement to that, grudging though some of it may be. Then someone screamed as a wake of white water indicated the approach of the dark angel they'd been expecting. It was headed straight for the ship they were on. Yosho brushed a stray lock of hair behind his ear, griining slyly at the apparition. "Oh, what a nuisance... CUT!!!" He brought his sword up and a beam of energy came out that split the sea into two equal halves along the path of the blade, neatly bisecting the dark angel down the middle as it did so. The watery creature perished instantly and sank into the depths as the severed halves of the sea splashed back together. Hair went white on some who'd seen this, sticking straight up. Jared almost ignored the display, paying it small mind, leaning forward to ask Misato a question. "Tell the truth, Misato. Is it worth it to save the world so that you can be ground under foot by the men who'd rule it? No? Why then, would you prefer to say saving it from bad governments is almost the same as saving it in the first place? You would?" She nodded, fully in agreement. Many others indicated agreement with her. Jared spread his arms wide. "Why then, join us! Donate your service to our cause, and get a full share! We've got glory and treasure and all the things you'll never earn sitting at a desk job!" Half the crew as well as most the Nerv personnel joined them in the chorus line as others mounted ship railings and convenient airplanes, all somehow mysteriously learning how to dance and sing the lines together in perfect unity. ** (The vastly expanded chorus began to sing toward Jared) "Hey, ho, ho We're one and all for one And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son. We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be And when you're a professional pirate..." (Jared stepped forward, taking these lines as his own) "You'll be honest, brave and free the soul of decency You'll be loyal and fair and on the square and most importantly..." (A pyramid of Tenchi cast and military crewmen lifted him into the air) "When you're a professional pirate You're always in the best of company!!" ** The admiral dropped his field glasses. Jaw hanging from what he'd seen happening on his flight deck. He fell in a dead faint. Ritsuko was behaving calmly, figuring she could work this out. Toward this end, she quipped. "So Jared, I have a question. Since when is it heroic to betray your employer and the government you work for?" "Yah?!" Misato chimed in. Jared gave them a shrug. "There are proportionately more wicked businesses and governments than evil people. I see this proffession as a chance to strike back at tyranny and make a little money at it. What could be more heroic than that?" Misato looked aside, considering his words. "Yah, I could see that." Ritsuko posed, pointing a finger offensively at Jared. "That doesn't cut it, Saotome. The Robin Hood approach only works when you take from the rich, *not* your comrades!" Jared blinked at this display, stunned. "What have I taken from you? I've *given* to you everything I possibly could. My time, talents, insights, friendship... The battle I fought for you was an honest one, and I'll not even be taking a paycheck with me." The now natural-blonde fourteen year old Ritsuko dropped her pose, astonished. She had nothing more to say. "So how about lunch?" Leon piped in, unperterbed. The entire fleet phased out. "So you find our terms agreeable, then?" Sylia asked the gentleman. The Prime Minister of the nation of Israel mopped his brow and looked down at the papers before him. The entire Soviet might had come in behind the Arabs and they'd hit the air conditioning plant of the capitol building minutes before. The roar of artillery, tanks and men doing battle could all be heard clearly coming in through the windows. In contrast, the advantages of this proposition twinkled invitingly. The aged man looked up to the ten lovely young women seated demurely before him, eagerly awaiting his decision. gravely, he gave his nod. "Yes, it must be done quickly, though. Or Isreal will not survive." Sylia very calmly reached into her purse and extended forth a small tab of paper. "You only have to call this number and we can get underway. It can begin immediately." When the formerly UN fleet phased back in to the Eva dimension, it was changed in many ways. "Arrr, matey!" Oh, and the fact that Washu had been playing with her special effects computers did not help it any. The entire fleet had phased out a perfectly ordinary late twentieth century wet navy, and when it came back into phase it was... different. "Avast ye! Look lively, ye lilly-livered bilge rats! Er, I'll be having yer ears nailed to the masts and yer hides whipped til they're so soft I can use them as seat cushions!" Surprisingly, this was more polite than the noncoms usually were. As had been said, the ships had been perfectly ordinary by the standards of a wet fleet that hadn't changed much except in electronics since the second world war. Obviously this had just given Washu an opportunity to get creative with these "rusting old relics!" The little redheaded genius may just as well have fed them in one end of a materials processor and spat new ships out the other. In fact, the technology was so different, Jared was secretly convinced that's what she did. There was also that picture of the Undersea Battleship Ra beside her desk console to be worried about. That might have had something to do with the fact that the ships now flew a good sixty yards above the water. The former UN fleet was no longer a wet navy. Actually, it was quite a thing. The new air navy of free privateers was so advanced technologically over the rest of the world it fit in *very* well with Sylia's boomers and robot war machines. Washu hadn't gone *too* overboard, which showed uncharacteristic restraint on her part, actually. More than likely, she didn't want the pirate navy to outshine Jared's antics with giant robots. Be that as it may, she'd done wonders fitting them in to genre. The entire new fleet glittered with the reflection of sunlight on sleek armor and deadly armaments. Gone were the designs so familiar to all, the tapered V of hulls going relatively unchanged since before the first world war. Now in their place were hulls more remeniscent of spacecraft or submarines, laid out like swords pointing forward with thrusters clustered in the rear. Along the blades were turrets and command towers, gleaming with freshness and the solidity of their armor. They were, in all, so sexy they were to die for. The new Seahawk class of Washu-redesigned air battleship took a crew of only fifty, meaning that destroyers from the former navy yeilded enough men to crew one with some spares left over. That left room for nearly a thousand power-suited marines, though they'd usually carry extra cargo in that space from plundered hauls. The smallest ships were air cruisers, and they were FAST, able to outrace most jets rated for combat. They also carried enough guns and armaments to take on a battallion of tanks. And seeing as how they flew, the tanks were unlikely to be able to raise their main guns far enough to return fire. Air to air missiles, with their few pounds of minor high explosive indended primarily to take down unarmored aircraft, would be the same as spitting at this fleet. That did not mean they didn't have a missile defense system. They had many, from the pinpoint laser defense array, all the way through adequate sensor baffling, to a massive spherical force shield protecting a ship from all angles. These could also all be used against fighters, even projectiles. The fleet was planetbound, to keep things interesting, but their weapons had sub-orbital range and the ships could move, maneuver, and fight on or under water as well as in the air. They also had reactors that ensured there'd be no fuel shortage for this fleet. Washu had even knocked off a couple copies of the Space Battleship Yamato for use as Eva carriers. And speaking of carriers, every ship had a small fighter squadron for its own use, based on the arms of the guard if these ships really had been swords. The fighters were, needless to say, impressive. There were also a round dozen super air battleships, combination super carriers and mightier-than normal air battleships. The crews were also altered, having undergone a few personality modifications in line with their new profession. Loyalty to their cause and leader being paramount. It was quite a navy. Washu got bored, having already forgotten so minor a joy as refitting the new pirate navy, and then saw the Knights still in their launch cradles back at Nerv. With delight aglow in her eyes, Washu touched a small button and every Eva on that world quietly faded out. She cackled madly. Lunch in Leon's cabin was everything it was cracked up to be. That is except for the fiery, offended females and the changes to a pirate armada. "I don't think much of this new profession of yours." The admiral sulkily groused. "Yes, well," Jared responded with a grin. "When contrasted with respectibility, it is comparatively honest." Just then he saw Asuka and them closing in on him. In spite of his great pleasure at seeing Leon and Kate again, Jared had to excuse himself to run get some fresh air. He practically *ran* to the flight deck, then secured a ride to another boat just to add a safety margin. The ladies wouldn't be long in venturing forth to seek him, and they'd try the flight deck. Since he hadn't specified where he was going, the helicopter pilot assumed the Eva pilot wanted to go see the Muscle Knight, and took him there. Tsunami and crowd had *only* let him go on the promise to clear up a few things here before they brought him back to live with them once again. He didn't mind. He actually liked that crowd quite a bit. They were scary sometimes, but that came with the job. Jared shuddered, looking forward to the departure for another reason as well. This was *way* too close to a Jared+Asuka matchup for his taste. Getting away from her had been a high priority way back before he'd met her, when he'd first realized he'd entered this world. In a moment of honesty, he realized that he was maybe being unfair, after all, people can change and it's not as if Asuka had DONE thise things he'd been scared of. Quite the opposite really. The redhead analyzed that, introspectively. Here he had taken over the job of Shinji, and been doing quite different in the role of it. Already he was world famous, he knew that. It also failed to bother him, as that fame could be enormously useful. But in Asuka's case, she normally had quite a competition against Shinji just because being an Eva pilot was all she had, and didn't take lightly that the spineless boy did better than her without hardly trying. Enter Jared, and she *can't* compete with him. It's impossible. He's making up the rules as he goes along, breaking up the established power structures, and showing up the world's greatest scientists as fools. The world trembled at his footsteps, literally in some cases. That's like setting yourself up against a force of nature. The reflex is not to do it, as they can't be compared to human ability. "Hey! I can lift more than this Tidal Wave!" is not a boast anyone expects to hear. But without the competition, that set him up as a force to be emulated. He's doing all sorts of things to revolutionize the job she's doing - of COURSE she's interested! She'll want to learn everything about him, and how he does these things, so that she can do them too! Her impulse to become a better pilot would set her to copy, not compete, and that had left her in the throes of hero worship, apparently. Well, that deserved some credit, too. He was nothing like Shinji had been, was FAR from spineless, and had a great deal on the ball *worth* emulating! Jared smiled wryly. One of the bad things about reinventing reality was that you had to live with it once you'd made the new rules, and in Asuka's case she saw herself in a VERY clearly defined role. She was now as set on doing well at it as she ever was at Eva piloting. So he had a love interest. Two, actually, thinking about the neo-penguin proclaiming to Misato that *she* was his True Love. The redhead sighed and rolled his eyes. Sure enough, create a sentai show and one of the first things you can count on is being caught in a love triangle. Brrr! That was scary. A Troubled Romance with his fellow pilots indeed! Romantic subplots and a female lead. He ought to watch his mouth when next he started to make up excuses in a time of need! The fleet began to sail toward America, with devout intentions of raiding all those lovely and wonderful invasion armies about to raid her. Why, there were payrolls and guns and all that lovely military equipment just *waiting* for pirates to scavenge it! All they had to do was kill the owners first. Sasami went to clean out Jared's room of all the garbage that had accumulated in the short time of his absence. Ryoko had taken to drinking in there, looking around and sighing at all the happy memories. The space pirate had really missed her brother. The blue ponytailed princess of Jurai was surprised to go into Jared's room and find the crowd had already preceeded her! "Oh, hi Sasami!" Ayeka paused, lifting a pair of garbage bags as she stood. "Hiya, squirt!" Ryoko smiled at the littlest princess, her hair tied back as she scrubbed the floor, intentionally using the nickname Jared had given the girl. Sasami's jaw dropped in horror. This was it, she was going insane! Tenchi paused, having filled a box with cans and used, empty bottles. He stood up and started out of the room carrying it. "Hey Sasami, do you think we could have pizza tonight? To honor Jared's homecoming?" Sasami nodded dumbly, still too overcome to say much. Ayeka carried the garbage bags out, practically walking on Tenchi's heels. Ryoko finished with the floor and, just as calmly, started floating up to scrub the walls. Sasami closed the door, wanding away with her sense reeling. This was just too weird! Inside her, Tsunami chuckled, glad she'd sent Kiyone on to Galaxy Police HQ to give them her recommendation for sentance: Confining Jared to her place. Mihoshi had been *GLAD* to take the pictures of indecent expose, too! Though Washu had contributed her own copies. Maybe she shouldn't have seemed to... delighted, to see him that way, but Tsunami couldn't help it. Under Edict to remain with her for a few thousand years... sounded nice. At the top of the shrine stairs, a monk paused in sweeping to look heavenward with the light glinting off his glasses. "Most ominous." Yosho went back to cleaning up the shrine for Jared's return to it.